New Blog

Hello Readers.  You have probably noticed that I haven't posted anything for awhile.  The reason for this is because I started a new blog back in October which is a year-long or so endevor to find, appreciate, and nurture joy in my life.  If you are interested, here is the link:
http://the365daysofjoy.blogspot.com/

I will come back to this blog once the other one is complete.  Thank you!

It's Not Always Going To Be Like This

Not Always Like This

It's not always going to be like this...

...some things will get better

...some things will get worse

...and not much is going to stay the same

But that's okay.

It's not always going to feel like this...

...joy like this or hurt like this

...ache like this or love like this

But that's okay, too.

It's not always going to be this easy,

And it's not always going to be this hard.

Your circumstances are going to change

Your knowledge is going to change

Your relationships are going to change

Your feelings are going to change

Your attitude is going to change

You are going change.

You will not always be like this.

And that's okay.

This poem has a two-fold purpose. First, I want to encourage those who are going through a hard time, whatever the situation might be. It's not always going to be like this. I know it feels like it sometimes, but you can choose to control your feelings, not let your feelings control you. I'm not promising a utopian life and God hasn't promised a utopian life, but He has promised eternal life for those who believe in His Son. So, know that whether it is in this life or in the next, there is hope for a brighter day.

Secondly, I wrote this poem to say that change is okay. I know a lot of people who don't like change, and I can understand why. When things change, something that was known has now become unknown, and things that are unknown can be frightening. But change isn't necessarily bad, it's just different. We live our whole lives in a continuous flow of things changing, and if we are constantly pining over how things used to be instead of embracing how things are now, then we risk missing opportunities and robbing ourselves of joy. Please don't waste the present while waiting for something better to come along, or waiting for it to go back to the way it was. Your life is too precious for that. Live in the present, embrace the present, and if you don't like it, then change it.

For the Love of Chocolate

This year I gave up chocolate for lent. This is the first year that I have observed lent, and it was good. I will probably do it again. I found, however, that my protestant friends really didn't know what to say when I told them why I wasn't eating chocolate. Usually the conversation just kind of awkwardly died, but some of the more outspoken ones said what everyone else was thinking: "Why?"

Why indeed.

Before I decided to take such a drastic step I pondered that very question. Why would I, a very non-Catholic person, observe a Catholic tradition? There were two main reasons, and a sub-reason. First, I wanted this Easter season to be more meaningful than in the past. This was accomplished by depriving myself of something that I usually eat every day, so that when I had the option to eat it but didn't, I would think of the reason why. It worked. Jesus' death and resurrection were on my mind much more than in the past. The second reason was that I wanted to honor Jesus' sacrifice by sacrificing something that I loved. My sacrifice wasn't even an iota of a molecule compared to Jesus' sacrifice, but so is everything else we give to Jesus. The greatest things we will ever do for Him are pathetically insignificant compared to His glory. However, that shouldn't stop us from giving them. The sub-reason was to show that I loved Jesus more than chocolate. I know that sounds ridiculous. Of course I love Jesus more than chocolate! But over the past seven weeks I have been humbled and shamed by my too great of love of the one, and my too little of love for the other.

Forgive me as I wax satirical for a minute. I LOVE chocolate! When I decided to give it up for lent, I wasn't sure if would be alive at the end of it. You see, I have three main food groups: chocolate, sugar, and cheese. Almost everything I eat includes one of these three. If you take one away, that leaves only two food groups left, and I had a hard enough time finding stuff to eat with three! Someone said that at first it would be hard not to eat chocolate, but then I would get used to it. That person was LYING! I have wanted chocolate every day since I started. Ice cream! Cake! Cookies! Brownies! Mochas! Candy! We live in a society that is basically swimming in chocolate I discovered. And I wanted to eat all of it. I realized how much I really do love chocolate.

And then to my everlasting shame and remorse, I compared my love of chocolate to my love of Jesus. Yes, I gave up chocolate for Jesus, but how easy is it to give up my quiet times? Easier than giving up chocolate? Do I see Jesus everywhere like I see chocolate everywhere? Do I long for Jesus like I long for chocolate? It doesn't matter what my answers are to the above questions. They need to be better. I don't love Jesus like I should. He deserves my every thought and my every action. His gospel needs to be the center of my existence, or else I am guilty of idol worship. I thought I was giving up chocolate for lent because I loved Jesus, but through the process I realized just how much I don't.

I'm saddened as I write this post. I want to be better; I thought I was better. The good news is that Christ loves me the same whether I'm weak or strong, whether I fail or succeed. I'm not celebrating Easter this year because I'm a good person, but because I'm a hopelessly sinful person whose sins were paid for on the cross of Christ. I'm celebrating His resurrection because without it, there is no hope for you and me.

Two things to leave you with. First, do you believe the gospel of Jesus Christ? There is nothing more important in your life than being right with God. You can deny His existence, you can say it doesn't matter, or you can believe in relative truth. At the end of the age, though, you will know the truth, but it will be too late. I can deny the existence of gravity, or I can say that what gravity means to you is not what it means to me, but if I step off of a building, I am going to fall every time. I beg you to believe the truth. Second, what idols do you have in your life that compete with Jesus? What would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why? And don't just think of common things. What about body image? Security? Self-esteem? Anything we place above Christ needs to move down. Prayerfully ask Him what is an idol in your life and He will show you. You have to be willing to change it, though, or else it won't do any good just to know about it. Believe me: Any sacrifice you make in this life, no matter how great, won't even matter in the next. The only thing that will matter is how much we loved and lived for Jesus.

Go and be blessed this Easter weekend.

When the Angels Dance

Tonight I had the privilege of watching The Thorn for the third time. For those of you who have not had the privilege, it is an amazing theatrical production of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. The cast is in the hundreds, the audience in the thousands. I think that every year I see it, the more I enjoy it. The reason I enjoy it so much is because it portrays the story of Jesus in a different way than I normally think about it. I believe it shows the humanity of Jesus exceedingly well. It also excels at showing the spiritual battle between darkness and light in a dramatic way. I need to be jolted out of my usual rut every now and then so that the familiar does not become common; The Thorn does this. However, my favorite part of the production, the part that I was looking forward to in eager anticipation is at the very beginning. It is the scene in heaven when the angels dance.

Imagine a stage where there are dozens of white creatures in flowing, shimmering outfits. Some are dancing, others are doing aerial gymnastics, some are swinging from ribbons suspended above the stage. Spinning, leaping, twirling, flipping. Always movement, beautiful movement. Creatures who are not marred by sin and pain expressing glory and praise to their Creator. This is why I love this scene. I want to be with them. I long to be with them. To be with them in a place where there is no more pain, nor death, nor tears. To worship my Creator and my Savior without the constraints of this world holding me back.

Did you know that this is why I love worship so much? When I worship God with my whole heart, I can, for the moment, forget about this world and for that brief moment get a very small taste of what heaven will be like. Oh, how I long for heaven. I remember at one service starting to weep because I wanted it so much. I was not content with what I had. I wanted it all right then. I wanted to see Jesus, to touch Jesus. But it was not to be. How long, O Lord, must we endure?

This life is hard. It always will be. Even on the best days there is sin and pain lingering in the background. I don't want to sound depressing, but this is the truth. If it was not like this, than heaven would be cheapened. In fact, we wouldn't even want heaven if there was no sin. We would just live in paradise here on earth. But that's obviously not the case. This is why heaven is the prize for those who run the race of faith and endure until the end. We cannot even imagine the joy heaven will be like because we have nothing to compare it to. It's like comparing a ten course meal to a crumb. But oh, it will be glorious. And the best part is that we will get to be with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ forever and ever. Amen.

Long for heaven, Beloved. If you don't, than figure out why not. This world has nothing for you. The best is yet to come. Go and be blessed.

Where Did All The Passion Go?

As I was thinking about what I would write about this week, I had several different ideas. But one topic that really grabbed me was when a friend told me, "I'm struggling with finding passion in life." This friend is not alone. I have had many friends tell me this exact same thing in the recent months, and I myself have struggled with it as well in the past. Where has all the passion gone? Why do people feel like they live without purpose and direction? How can they get out of this rut they are in?


I'm not a doctor or a scientist or psychiatrist. I haven't studied this topic or done extensive research on it. But I've lived it, and I think there is a lot to gain from life experience, which is why I feel qualified to write about it. Take it for what it is: the musings of girl who has felt the ache of a passionless life, who found passion through God's leading and in God's timing, and now aches for others haven't reached that point yet. To begin: my story. It was the year I graduated with my first associate's degree. I was done with college, and I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do in life. All I knew was that I was not ready to settle down with a full-time job and I had no interest in pursuing the career that my degree was in. I explored one option and then another, all leading to dead ends and closed doors. By the middle of summer I was getting fed up. I am not a directionless person. I have always had a plan and gone for it gun-ho, so wandering aimlessly was extremely frustrating to me. This sounds odd now, but in order to force myself to make a decision about my future and take action I quit my job. It was a job that I had once loved but knew that I could never make a career out of it, and at the time it was just another area that lacked my passion or interest. Looking back I can't say if that was the wisest decision or not, but I know that God used it. But what that did immediately was leave me in a position where I was doing nothing. I was a directionless being with no job and no passion to find another one. This is the essence of a passionless life: You don't have interest in what you are doing currently, and you can't find that one thing that does interest or motivates you. So basically you're stuck with no idea how to get out. This is frustrating. You can't just snap your fingers and suddenly become passionate about something; that's not how it works. So how does one find passion and direction in life?


I'm not going to answer that, because I can't. It's different for everyone and I can't tell you steps A,B, and C that will help you find your purpose in life. I can't help you, but God can. Draw close to His heart and hear His heartbeat for you. Ask Him how you can live your life for His glory. I know this kind of sounds like an oxymoron, because more often than not, if you are lacking passion in life, your relationship with God is also lacking. If you had passion about seeking God than you would not be living a completely passionless life, yes? How can you hear God if you are so far away from God? How can you seek God when you have no desire to seek Him? Again, God can help you. Go to Him and be completely honest. I have told God, "I have no desire to seek You and become close to You right now. But I know that should, so You are going to have to help and bring me to Yourself." And He did, because God is faithful. He did it by bringing a very difficult and painful situation in my life, where He stripped everything else away until the only thing I could cling to was Him. But it worked, and my relationship with God became closer than ever before.


This leads me to the actual purpose of writing this blog. I can't tell you specifically how to find your passion, but I can share thoughts on how to survive the wanderings to get to that point. The most important part is to realize that God is using this season of your life, and that no matter how purposeless it feels, it does have a purpose. I admit that this purpose is hard to see, but you have to believe that God hasn't forgotten you, and that He is molding and shaping you through this dry period. Second, focus on others. There is no faster way to throw pity party for yourself than to continually focus on yourself and your problems and lack of passion. Serve others, serve in your church, help out at the local food kitchen, do something that helps someone else. This not only prevents you from drowning in a sea of hopelessness and passionlessness by putting your life into perspective by interacting with others, but you will also be doing some good in the process. Also, it's amazing how purpose and passion creep up on you when you are helping the least of these. That's how I found my passion for victims of human trafficking, which is another blog for another time. Even if you don't find your passion in life through it, I would be hard pressed to think of a better use of your time. Third, and probably hardest, work on contentment. I know how frustrating it is to live life that lacks passion. It's even harder to be in that situation and be content about it. Being content does not mean that you have to stop looking for your passion and give up, nor does it give you permission to sit around and do nothing to change your situation. It means surrendering your situation to God and being able to say, "This is where I'm at right now, and although this is not where I want to be right now, I will be content with where God has placed me for as long as He wills, and I will use this time to glorify Him." This is not easy to say or do, and it doesn't just apply if your life is lacking passion. Being content is important in any situation you find yourself in. My prayer is that you can say with the apostle Paul: "For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:11.


friends who are searching for passion, my heart goes out to you. While I am sorrowful that you have been led to the desert for a period, I look forward with anticipation to the joy that awaits you when find your purpose and passion. It's not always going to be like this. Be brave. Be strong. Be blessed.

Wow

For my blog this week, I would like you to watch this youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRl8Ew6p1xc

In this video, an eleven year old boy shows Christ through the Bible in four minutes. I couldn't come up with something to write about that would be a better use of your time than watching this, so I didn't try. I know that you will be blessed, as I am every time I watch it.

Be Blessed.

I Miss My Friends

Note: Thanks to your prayers and encouragement, my doctor's appointment went as well as could be expected last week. I wasn't exactly overjoyed, but I wasn't terrified, either. To God be the glory!

I've been sick for over a week now. It started out as a fever and lethargy, then other ailments started piling themselves on top. If you're going to have a party, you might as well invite everyone, right? That being said, I have tried to stay at home and get better as much as possible. Of course there were things that needed to get done, but much of my weekly schedule of activities was put on hold. I missed a couple of Bible studies, a Pampered Chef seminar, Ignite (college and career group) and church on Sunday, just to name the regular activities. And now, on the ninth day of my hermitage, I have come to this conclusion: I miss my friends.

I have spent most of my life spoiled with friendships. I am blessed in this area, and I thank God for it. But because of that, as with most things that I have an abundance of, I have the tendency to take it for granted. More often than not, it feels as it my friendships are wearing me down instead of building me up. This is due in part to the fact that I am an introvert at heart, and I rebuild my energy by being alone, not with a crowd. I also have a tendency to overbook my life, so I am always running from one thing to another and I never have a chance to recover. The other aspect of this is that relationships ARE hard work if you're serious about them, and they do take effort. But they are definitely worth it. None of this is a revelation to me because I've known it for a while, but what is new for me is the sadness I feel from being away from good Christian fellowship for only a week.

I miss the light-hearted banter and serious discussions at Ignite. I miss the close bond of relationship and sharing in the joys and sorrows of the other ladies' lives from my women's Bible study, which occasionally does get around to studying the Bible. I miss the wisdom shared by brothers and sisters in Christ who have been beaten by the storms of life and have survived to come out stronger at my small group from church. And maybe most of all, I miss going to church and worshipping as the body of Christ and learning the Word of God taught by seasoned stewards of it. I miss the encouragement. I miss the fellowship. I miss the people who bless me by helping me through life, and I miss being used by God to be a blessing to others.

I hope you realize this isn't a "woe is me" post. My purpose is to get you thinking about your own life and the activities in it, and to see the blessings you have. My other purpose is to help you see if you have an area that's lacking and that needs filled. If you are a Christian, Beloved, than you need godly fellowship on a regular basis. At least once a week, if not more. As you can see, I pretty much fill up my schedule with as much fellowship as I can cram in, but I realize that's not for everyone. And, by the way, just going to activities does not count as fellowship. You have to engage, and be honest and open with people. The most important thing, however, is to go with the mindset of serving others, not to get something out of it for yourself. If that is your attitude, than you will probably be disappointed. Go to church thinking, "how can I bless other through my words and actions?" Go to Bible study realizing that sharing your struggles might help someone else to have the courage to share theirs. I think the tragedy of my generation of Christians is that they 1) don't understand the importance of the body of Christ and 2) don't understand their place in it. I guess that's what I'm trying to get at in a round about way. Perhaps I will do a follow-up post with more details.

Right now I need to go and get a few more things done before tonight. There is a night of worship at my church, and I couldn't be more excited about going : )

A Cry In The Night

Whenever it shows up, it shocks me with it's intensity. It shocks me that after all of these years, I still can't get over this. I should be stronger than this. I should be braver than this. I should be able to trust God more that He will help me through this. But I'm not. And it frustrates me and scares me that I can't get over this no matter how hard I try.

You see, I'm afraid, and I mean really afraid, of doctors and especially needles. It borders on a phobia, because it's aggrivatingly irrational. I can't tell you why, I just know that I am. I have tried every way I can think of to get over this, and nothing has really worked. I've prayed, I've talked to people, I've tried memorizing scripture and listening to comforting songs. I can't figure out the key. So why am I telling you this? Two reasons: I need help, but I also want to help. My goal with this blog has always been intentional Christ-focused encouragment. So I want to share some of the things I have learned in this area of fear, with the hope that maybe it will help someone out there.

1) I'm not alone. I'm not really talking about spiritually here, although that of course is true, too. I'm talking about that there are other people out there who struggle with this as well, some of whom I know. Just that knowledge helps. The worst part of feeling afraid is also feeling alone in your fear. God never meant for us to be alone, that's why He made us to need each other. If you are struggling with something, find someone who understands and can relate. It will help.

2) God can use my fear for His glory. God could have brought Himself glory by not allowing this fear in my life. If you don't struggle with this like I do, then please, give God the glory! But He did allow it, therefore, He intends it for His glory. I just have to figure out how. I can give God glory when I have to trust Him more to help me through this. I can give God glory when I make an iota of progress, and belive me, progress comes in iotas in this area. I can give God glory because He has the best plan for my life, and somehow, someway, this area is included. I don't understand how, but I don't have to.

3) Don't ever stop fighting. I admit that this one is hard for me. I'm bad at it. Most of the time I feel too tired to fight anymore. There's too many things going on in my life to try to deal with one more thing. To be honest, this is probably why it hasn't gotten better over the years. I've let it sit in my life and ferment. If you struggle with fear, or a particular sin, or anything, please, PLEASE keep fighting it. Help me to keep fighting, too. Find someone who will keep you be accountable, but who will do it in love. Sin needs a hard hand, but fear usually needs a soft one. If you are on the opposite side and you know someone who struggles with fear, don't be too harsh with them. If you've never experienced what they are going through, then you don't know what they are going through. Be a friend, be supportive, pray for them, ask what you can do to help, but don't try to push them in a direction they are not ready to go. Help them to be brave.

This was a hard post for me to write. It's always hard when you have to face your fears, and this was no different. I have a doctor's appointment this week, and I'm afraid. Please pray for me. Pray that the peace of God will rule in my heart and that I will be strong enough to fight the lies and fears that Satan throws at me. I can't do this by myself. I don't want to live in fear anymore, but I honestly don't know how to. If you have any encouraging words, or if you need any advice about someone you know who struggles with fear and you don't know how to help, send me line. I'll do the best I can.

Thanks for reading and be blessed.

Real

I wrote this poem about a year ago. I think it is one of the best poems I have written, but I'll let you judge that for yourself. I wrote it at a fundraising dinner on a napkin during the main speech. All of the sudden words and sentences started pouring out and it was started and finished just like that. I didn't mean to ignore the speech, but it had to come out. The title of the poem is Real, not only because that's what it's about, but because I was being real and honest when I wrote it. I was struggling, and I needed a friend like I describe in the poem. I praise and thank God that I have friends who helped me through those days, because I desperately needed them. I don't know if they all knew how much I was hurting because I struggle with a sin called pride, and therefore I have trouble letting people see my weaknesses, so because of that I missed an opportunity to tell them how much they meant to me. But if you're reading this blog, and you knew me last year and what I was going through, and I talked to you about it, thank you for being there for me. I couldn't have done it without you.

Real

"I'm fine, life's good...
Busy this week,
I guess I always am.
Gotta go, catch you later."

No, I'm not really fine,
Do you know that?
Do you see the person behind the mask?
The person who seems to have everything together,
But is falling apart inside?
Do you know that person...

...Do you care?

Did you know how hard it was to give you that smile?
Well, I guess it wasn't;
It's automatic now.

But it wasn't real.

What do I want?
Well, I don't want someone to fix my problems.
I don't want to bleed my heart all over you
And make you clean up the mess.
I'm not like that.

I just want to know someone's there...
...that they care.
I just want someone to walk through this with me.
What I want....

...Is a friend.

I just want someone to talk to,
Nothing serious, just chit chat,
But real chit chat.
It keeps me from sinking into self-pity.

Walking with you through life
Puts mine into perspective.
You're broken?

I'm broken, too.

You're hurting?

I'm hurting, too.

To be honest, sometimes it feels
As if my whole life
Is falling apart.

And I can't do anything but watch.

We need each other.
Don't let me walk alone,
And I promise:

I won't let you walk alone, either.

We're going to make it, friend
And we're going to make it

Together.



Dedicated to all my friends who have always been there for me. I am truly blessed.

Copyrighted by Katie Franck

Humbled and Amazed

Ok, I admit it, I broke my New Year's resolution last week. I do have an excuse though, if you would like to hear it. In a span of four days I started a new job, got engaged, and worked two overnight shifts in a row. Somehow I didn't quite get around to writing a blog for some reason...hmmm.

But here I am, attempting to keep my resolution once more. This is going to be a short post but hopefully it will be encouraging.

2010 was a hard year for me. God tested me in ways that broke my heart so many times. I had to make impossible choices that a lot people didn't understand, and my only justification for them was that I was doing what I thought God was asking me to. There were days when I had to just try to make it through the day with out disintegrating. There were months when I watched my entire world crumble before me. And during the course of the entire year, God asked me to surrender almost everything that is important to me, with the very real possibility that He was going to take it away. It's easy to trust God when life is easy, but much harder when trusting means sacrifice. Many times last year I prayed for a miracle, knowing in my heart that I didn't have enough faith to believe that God would do it. But something amazing happened.

God heard my prayer, and He answered me.

God took everything away from me, and then He gave it all back. Everything I prayed for last year God has done. When I think of that, I am overwhelmed by His love for me. He could have taken everything away from me and still I would have served Him, because I live my life for His glory, however He chooses to show it. But He didn't, because His plan involved blessing me beyond my wildest dreams. I don't know why, but I don't have to. I still live my life for the glory of God, however He chooses to show it. Feast or famine, desert or paradise, my life is God's to use for His glory.

When I think back to those dark days it still hurts, but I'm grateful for them. My faith grew so much because it was so hard. If you are going through a trial right now, I'm sorry. I know how hard it can be. But remember the hope we have have through Jesus Christ. If you believe in His death for your sins, and His resurrection three days later, than you have the promise of a future where He will wipe away all of the tears from your eyes, and where there will be no more death, nor crying, nor pain. The trials we experience only last during this life, Beloved, and after that, we have eternity to spend with Jesus in glorious paradise. Cling to that hope.

Bush Man

I was in beautiful San Francisco last weekend with my sister and a good friend. We saw many interesting things, but what I am about to tell you next is probably the most intersting of them all. We took the Muni (aka the public bus system) around everywhere we went, and on the second day we took it down to Pier 39. A couple of stops before we got off, a homeless man got on carrying a big bundle of freshly cut leafy branches. They were about 3 feet long and rather cumbersome in the bus. When we got off at our stop he stayed on. We looked around the pier for a couple hours and then walked down a couple of blocks for lunch. On our way back, we saw the man with the branches again. He was kneeling on the sidewalk and holding the branches in front of him, so they kind of looked like a bush and he was mostly hidden behind them. As we walked by, he jumped out at a person walking the other direction, presumably to scare them. Apparently this is what he did to make money, although we didn't see a cup or hat or anything on the sidewalk.

This is rather an amusing story, mainly because it seems like an odd way to make money, if that's what he was doing. It got me thinking, "Why is he doing that?" That thought in turn got me thinking of another question: Why do I do what I do? Everyone has a reason for what they do, whether they realize it or not. The man hiding behind the branches on the sidewalk had a reason for doing that, and I had reason for walking by to see him. Nothing happens by accident. You made a choice to do everything you did today,and so I ask you, "Why did you do it?" At first the answers seem obvious, but I encourage you to dig deeper. Why am I writing this blog? At first, the answer is because one of my new year's resolution was to write one blog a week, and I am running out of time for this week. Going deeper, however, I discover that I don't want to fail at keeping my resolution, and publically fail at that, which is the motivation behind this blog. That in turn could lead to if I worry about how I look in other people's eyes and keeping a good face. At that point I learn something about myself. I could do this for all of my activities, and I am sure it would be very revealing.

The point of doing this little excercise is to check my motives and see what they are, and what they should be. Am I glorifying God in ALL my actions? Are the surface motives that I want people to see the same as my inward motives? I challenge you: Take one area or one activity and really question yourself on why you do it. If you need a good place to start, try it for Facebook and see what you discover. I'd love to hear about it!

Before the Throne of God Above

BEFORE THE THRONE OF GOD ABOVE

Before the throne of God above

I have a high and perfect plea

A great high priest whose name is love

Who ever lives and pleads for me

My name graven on His hands

My name written on His heart

I know that while in heaven He stands

No tongue can bid me thence depart

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end to all my sin

Because sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free

For God the Just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me

Hallejulah, hallejulah!

Praise the one, the risen Son of God

Behold Him there the risen lamb

My perfect, spotless righteousness

The great unchangeable I Am

The King of glory and of grace

One with himself I cannot die

My soul is purchased by His blood

My life is hid with Christ on high

With Christ my Savior and my God

Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

Praise the one, the risen Son of God

When I hear this song and read the lyrics, it gives me chills. It tells so eloquently and yet so simply our position in Christ. My favorite verse is: "Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free. For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me." It's simple, and yet so profound. As Christians, we need to remind ourselves of the gospel regularly. I was reminded of this again and again last year, though books I read and sermons I listened to. And yet, every time I heard it, I needed to hear it again. It seems strange the the cornerstone of Christianity can be overlooked so easily, and yet it is. We think that we know the gospel and so instead of dwelling on it every day, we start working on being good Christians by crossing our t's and dotting out i's. Too soon we forget why we're doing what we're doing. The simple truth is this: you cannot think of the gospel too much; it is the essence of Christianity. The other reason I like this song is because of the hallelujah part. You hear the words, you realize once again what Christ did, and your heart overflows with gratitude. And then the song switches from theology to praise, right at the perfect moment. It's beautiful.

I challenge you: Sit down and think about the gospel today. And tomorrow. And thank God for what He's done for you. You won't regret it.

I Am Resolved

Happy New Year to all twelve people who read my blog : ) Don't worry, it doesn't bother me. I write more for myself than for anyone else. Blogging let's me organize my thoughts and share something that I feel might be beneficial to someone else. Wasn't that the purpose of blogs in the first place? That being said, let me share one of my new year's resolution for 2011.

I am resolved to write a blog at least once a week.

There. I've said it. In once sense, I glad that I am forcing myself to be disciplined. In another sense, I'm scared of adding another commitment to my already semi-crazy life. How will I find time? How will I think of things to write about? What if I fail and everyone knows it since I've posted it for everyone to see?

I don't know how this will work out. Up until now, writing one post a month has been a challenge. Some things will probably change, such as the posts will probably we shorter, which might be a blessing for my reading audience. I will also probably have to give something else up, which will probably be facebook time.

The question that naturally follows is this: Why am I doing this? First and most of all, I was convicted by a post by my fellow blogger Aaron Katreeb on discipline. I am disciplined in many areas of my life, but this is not one of them. I believe in discipline in all areas of life, and the more areas it is in, the easier it gets. I know some of you might cringe at the word discipline. It conjures up images of an army-like regulated life with no fun or excitement. Let me tell you something: my life ain't nothing like that. I have a lot of fun, and it is very exciting. I believe that my life is like that because I am disciplined and the freedom that it brings. I could write a whole post just about that, and maybe I will, but not right now. The other reason I decided on this resolution is because many people have told me: "You should write more, Katie." I usually agree with them, and then I usually don't. I believe my ability to write is a gift from God, and I don't want to waste something God gave me. Right now, I am using that gift in a small way in my little blog, but that's better than nothing. I'd rather return to God one talent than bury it in the ground and give Him nothing in return. I believe that this is both my obligation and my privilege.

So there it is. I'm counting on you, people, to help me keep this resolution. If you have an idea that you want me to write about, drop me a line. I could use some ideas. Thank you for your faithful reading over the past two years.

Katie

The Miracle of Christmas

The King of Heaven came down to us.
He came to a sinful world full of sinners who sinned-
Sinned against Him.
But He didn't sin.
Instead, He loved them.
He loved us.

He came in the humblest of ways,
As the humblest of beings:
A Baby.
Helpless.
Born of girl who was a nobody
From a nothing town.

He was hated, despised
His life was threatened from infancy
To adulthood
Until finally, the threat became reality.

He was wounded for our transgressions
He was bruised for our iniquities
The chastisement for our sins was upon Him
And by His stripes, we are healed.

The death He died for us,
Was invented for its cruelty.
The suffering it caused is staggering.
And yet,
He suffered that for us, and that was only the beginning.

The Son endured the wrath of the Father;
Wrath He didn't deserve for sins He didn't commit.
And yet, He took our place.
Because we couldn't save ourselves,
He saved us.

The miracle is not that Jesus came to save the lost:
That was simple obedience.
The miracle is that He loved those
He came to save.

The miracle is that Jesus came down at Christmas
To a broken, hopeless world.
And He lived a perfect life.
And when He went to the cross,
He saw a very desperate you and a really pathetic me in the distance
And He died anyways.

If that doesn't amaze you
Why not?


Passages adapted with poetic license taken from "Living Whole Without a Better Half", "Lover of My Soul" and Isaiah 53:5

The Other Side of Christmas

There are so many words associated with Christmas: joy, peace, love and goodwill, just to name a few. Feelings associated with Christmas are usually what can be called warm and fuzzy. For many people, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, and rightly so. For Christians, Christmas is the season we celebrate God becoming one of us, a baby born to save us from our sin. I could use this whole blog just to wax eloquently about God becoming on of us, because out of all the things the Bible talks about, that is one of the things that never ceases to amaze me. But, I am not going to do that, because this blog is about something else. Even for non-Christians, Christmas is usually a season of happiness and goodwill. But was it always like that? Or, is there a different side of Christmas than what we usually think about?

Think about times in your life that you grew the most, specifically spiritually. Those are usually good memories because you remember the outcome and how beneficial it was. But I am guessing that those were hard times, too. From my experience, the best times of growth are when life's the hardest. They seem to go hand in hand. But, by the grace of God, we usually remember the good better than we remember the bad. It's like how a mother forgets the labor when she sees her baby for the first time. Why do I mention this? Because I am speculating that with the Christmas story (i.e. the birth of Jesus) the hard part has faded and we are left with the happy, joyful story we are familiar with.

Let me take you to the possible other side of the Christmas story. I don't know if this is accurate, because I wasn't there, but roll with me on this one and see what you think. My goal is to look at a familiar story a different way. Mary was a young teenage girl who was pregnant. Besides from all of the normal uncertainties and fears that come with being pregnant, especially for the first time, along with morning sickness and everything else, Mary was unwed. Unwed girls that were pregnant in that day could have been stoned. Do you think Mary might have been a little fearful about that? Even her own fiance didn't believe her at the beginning, so probably there were some other people who didn't either. We know she wasn't stoned, but she might have been shunned, outcast, or any of the other ways people can show disapproval. I always thought that she went to go see Elizabeth for as long as she did because it was getting uncomfortable for her to stay in her own village, but I don't know for sure. There was some fear for Joseph, too. The angel said, "Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife." His fear might have been about a soiled reputation. He was a just man, the Bible says, and so it wouldn't look good for him to have a pregnant betrothed. It would hurt his reputation. So here we have two people who are doing the right thing, but who are maybe uncertain and fearful about how this is going to turn out.

Next scene: Bethlehem. Joseph and Mary have traveled for days. She is nine months pregnant. It doesn't matter how you travel at nine months pregnant, it is going to be uncomfortable. Tired and dirty, they make it to Bethlehem right as the first contractions start. There's no room in any inn, so they get sent to the stable. Imagine driving across the United States from Virginia to California and camping all the way. When you get to California smelly and tired, instead of a hotel with a hot shower and soft bed, you have to sleep on the floor in a smelly barn. In nativity scenes it's cute. In real life, maybe not so much. Mary gives birth in a strange town with strange people. She knows her child is the Messiah, but is it possible that in the moment that fact is overwhelmed by the uncomfortableness and uncertainty? You've been there; I've been there. In my head I know God is in control and that everything is happening for His glory. But sometimes my head doesn't connect to my heart real well, and life can seem out of control, painful, uncertain, and I forget the bigger picture. Did Mary ever forget the bigger picture?

Next scene: It's been maybe a year or two. Things have settled down for the young family. They are still in Bethlehem, and they now have a house. Did they not go back to their home village because of the hostility they faced the last time they were there? Is there nothing and no one to go back to? Out of nowhere, wise men appear the east. They bear expensive gifts and they come to worship the King. The words of the angel are confirmed, and yet on the heels of this wonderful moment comes a new fear: Herod now knows of the Messiah, and he wants him dead. Imagine you're Mary. The most powerful man in the region wants to kill your son. How does that feel? A little terrifying, maybe? Joseph is told in a dream to take his family to Egypt to escape the wrath of Herod. Matthew 2:14 says, "When he arose, he took the young Child and His mother by night and departed for Egypt." Just like that. He has a dream, BOOM! He gets up, gets Mary and Jesus and leaves. The life they had established in Bethlehem is wiped out in an instance. They probably didn't get to say goodbye to friends. They literally run for their lives to Egypt. A new town, again. They probably don't know anyone, again. They have to start all over, again. This time they don't even know the language.

I don't think the first Christmas was easy for Mary and Joseph, and I don't think that the following years were easy, either. They had to endure faith-trying difficulties and uncertainties, but they were people of faith, so they were able to. They had a promise from God, and they held onto that promise whenever things were uncertain or frightening. I wanted to write about this because I think so often we forget that the people in the Bible were people, just like us. So often we forget that they didn't know the ending to their story when they made tough decisions, just like we don't know how things will turn out when we have to make tough decisions. When David said he would face Goliath, he didn't know that he would kill him, or the string of events that would follow from that. When Daniel defied the king and prayed to God, he didn't know his life would be spared in the lion's den. They were people, just like Mary and Joseph were people. The Bible is so much more enriching and encouraging when we think of it like that. So I encourage you this Christmas to put yourself in the story that you have heard so often. See it through new eyes. Look at it a different way, and see something new.

Disappointed

"This isn't where I thought I would be at this point in my life."

How many times have I heard that from one of my friends? How many times have you?

How many times have I said it myself?

It amazes me how often we get disillusioned with God when He fails to coordinate His grand scheme for the world with our personal plan for our lives. Of course, we don't think of it like that. What we think is: "All I want is a steady job so that I can get out of debt. I want to be a good steward of my money, but I'm not making enough to make ends meet right now. God doesn't want me to struggle like this." Or, "I just want ONE guy to ask me out on a date. Just one! I don't need a long-term relationship, I just want some confirmation that I'm attractive on some level." Outrageous requests? No. But they are requests stemming from the wrong motives all the same. Requests like that are self motivated, and from my experience God's highest priority is not our self requests. He is working to mold and make us into the image of Himself, not the image of who we would like to look like. The problem is that we don't see them as self motivated. We put religious words on the end of them so we convince ourselves that we are asking for something spiritual and not something selfish. And then we get upset when God doesn't answer our "spiritual" requests. That's when the problem starts.

It doesn't happen all at once, but like most things it starts small and grows and grows until we finally notice it. What is it? Disappointment. We pray for more hours at work so that we can build relationships with co-workers and "witness" to them. We don't get more hours. We pray that Grandma gets better so that she can keep serving God for many more years. Grandma doesn't get better. Relationships don't happen. Cars break down right when you need them. Tests don't get passed even after you study for hours. You keep praying and praying and God seems to keep saying "No" to everything. Have you been there? I have. Then you wake up one day and look around and say, "This isn't the life I wanted at all. I had so many plans, so many dreams, but look where I'm at. God, why did you let this happen to me?" At that moment, you let yourself become disillusioned with God. YOU had a great plan for your life, but God wouldn't cooperate. YOU had it all figured out, but God wouldn't listen.

Oh, Sinner, how often we fall. In our minds it's okay to disappoint God. Yeah, we sin, but we're human, right? We don't read our Bibles or pray as often as we should, but we're busy. We don't give our time or money to God, because we need it more than He does. In every area, we don't meet God's standards, and yet we justify it in our minds. But then, when God doesn't meet our artificial standards, we feel justified to doubt His goodness. We don't care about God wants but He had better care about what we want. We are selfish people who care more about an easy life than seeing God glorified on this earth. Shame on us.

My favorite passage when thinking about God's plan versus our plan is Hebrews 5:7:

"Who, in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His godly fear..."

I know this is a sentence fragment and therefore hard to grasp in context, but hear me out. This passage is referring back to Jesus praying in the garden before His arrest. Jesus didn't like where He was at. He didn't like the plan, and He was praying to His father to "take this cup away from me." (Luke 22:42) Have you prayed that prayer? Have you asked God to remove you from a difficult situation? Unlike you, Jesus had completely pure motivations when He prayed. He knew that His death was needed as an atoning sacrifice, but He still asked for a way out. He passionately cried out to the God who was able to save Him from an excruciating death. The beloved Son prayed to His loving Father, and God heard the prayer of His righteous Son.

And God said no.

No. It was that simple. God didn't give a reason. He didn't have to. He never has to. God's ways are higher than our ways, and the Creator does not owe the creation an explanation for anything. At the end of Luke 22:42, Jesus said, "Not my will, but Yours, be done." God answered that prayer. God's will was done. His Son was in agony, pleading for another plan, crying out to be saved from the wrath of His Father when He took on the sins of the world. But the Father didn't change His plan, because His plan was the best plan.

Does that give you hope, Beloved? It gives me hope, because it puts my prayers into perspective, and my life. God loves us. God hears our prayers. And sometimes God says "no" even when it doesn't make sense to us. God might say "no" when we're hurting, or confused, or alone. But we can rest assured that we are exactly where we are supposed to be: resting in His love, surrounded by His grace.

When you get to a point in your life when you are tempted to say, "This isn't where I wanted to be right now", remember your Saviour, who has been right where you are. Like your Saviour, I urge you to set aside your dreams and ambitions, to humble yourself before the sovereign God, and say, "Not my will, but Yours, be done."

Revelation: The part I understand

I don't understand a whole lot from the book of Revelations, I must admit, but I understand the first three chapters. I love the first three chapters of Revelations. Seven different churches, seven different situations. From each one there is something to learn. Five have serious issues that need to be addressed. One is suffering persecution. And one is the example we should follow.

In this blog I want to talk about the church in Ephesus. This is the first church that is mentioned out of all the churches, which means that it is the one the apostle John had on the forefront of his thoughts when he was thinking about the churches and what they needed to hear. After the introduction, the letter to the church of Ephesus starts likes this:

"I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars;"

This was a church that held fast to truth. They tested false doctrine and did not allow it in their midst. This means that the members of the church in Ephesus knew the scripture and the gospel well. They could recognize false teaching, and they had the courage to push it away and not fall for sweet sounding words. This was also a church that labored and that did good works. The passage goes on to say:

"And you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name's sake, and have not become weary."

This church had gone through some hard times it seems to indicate, but they had persevered. In Christ's name they labored, and they did not grow weary of their labor. That is a far cry from the burned-out church workers and pastors that populate so many of our churches today. Weary is an accurate description of many churches today, but the church of Ephesus was not weary.

"Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love."

Wait, what?!?! Isn't this the church we are supposed to emulate? These people were zealous for truth, hard-working, laboring for Christ, patient. How could they be all that and yet John still find fault with them? The answer is simple really: they had forgotten the reason for why they did what they did. These people went through the motions, they did all the right things. I believe that their motives were pure but their eyes were blind. They got so caught up in doing things for God that they lost their focus. They left their first love.

The first love of any Christian is Christ and the Gospel. How could it not be so? We were lost, but now we're found. We were dead in sin and had no way of escape, but Christ broke through our chains and paid the price for our sin with His death on calvary. Then He defeated death, the punishment for our sin, by rising from the day and ascending into heaven, where He reigns as king at the right hand of God. The gospel is glorious, is it not? It has to be our first love because without it, there would be no love at all. The gospel is where we must start, but it is also the place we must stay.

Christians have a tendency to move on from the gospel. I am reading a book called "Counsel from the Cross" for the second time because it is that good, and the authors emphasize this quite a bit. We think we understand the gospel, and so we move on to other things. We start finding the passages that talk about how Christians should live their lives, and start applying those verses to our lives. We start developing theologies and opinions based on what we learn through scripture. But in the midst of all that, the tendency is to do exactly what the churh at Ephesus did. We, too, can leave our first love. And, I contend, we do it quite often.

We stop being amazed by the cross. We hear it so often, we stop hearing it. Why are we astonished at the church in Ephesus when we do the exact same thing all the time? We do the right things. We fight false doctrine. We persevere. But we do it without the gospel in mind. My friends, we have left our first love, too. This is why I believe John put the letter to the church in Ephesus first: what he had to say to them applied to all of the other churches. The lukewarm church? Where was their first love? The corrupt church? They needed to go back to the gospel.

What I want to challenge you with is this: Have you left your first love? Are you going through the motions but have long ago forgotten why? I suggest you look back to the cross and fall in love again.

C'est La Vie

I ran across the game of Life the other day and I had to smile. The game of Life is definitely that: a game. I think you have to make three decisions in that game, and you usually get to see how either option ends up before moving forward. Everyone gets married. Everyone buys a house. Almost everyone is a millionaire by the end of the game. Yes, that is definitely a game and not real life.

Tomorrow my grandma is having open heart surgury. It will probably be a triple or quadruple bypass, but they have to wait and see until they get in. She's eighty years old. Eighty year old grandmas sometimes don't make it through quadruple bypass surgury. That, my friends, is life. The real one, not the game.

Here's more real life: I have lots of friends looking for jobs, or who live paycheck to paycheck. I have friends who have lost parents, and friends who have lost babies. I have friends who have to live with the bad choices they or someone else made. Life is rarely easy or fun, but amazingly, it is good. How do I know it's good? Because God is good, and every life is a gift from Him.

I must admit that sometimes I'm not grateful for God's gift, at least not in the moment. Think back to when you opened Aunt Agatha's gift on Christmas morning and found out that it was underwear. Not a whole lot of enthusiasm there. There was a lot of things you wanted for Christmas, and underwear didn't make it on the list. Or on the back up list. Or on any list. And yet to be honest, we need underwear, we really do. It might not be fun or exciting, but it's used every day, isn't it? Most people don't like the useful gifts as much as the fun gifts, even if they need the useful gifts and use them more. That's because we would rather enjoy ourselves than have something useful, because usefulness is rarely exciting.

Don't we treat God's gifts the same way? He gave us our lives, yet a lot of what He gives us in them does not seem like a gift. We are faced with hard situations, difficult decisions, and choices that are anything but easy. God's gifts seem like underwear. The gifts aren't fun and exciting, but they are what we need if we are willing to admit that. If God gave you a new Ford Mustang it would be great, yet it would hardly help you learn the lesson of perseverance that would occur if you had to save up month after month for one yourself. God knows what we need now and what we will need in the future, and doles out gifts accordingly. Humans are into instant gratification; God isn't. Because of that, we start thinking that God's gifts aren't gifts at all. We start doubting God because we only see a small piece of the pie and it doesn't make any sense to us. That's when the devil has us. If he can get us to doubt God's working, he can feed us all sorts of lies and we'll believe him. We'll start doubting God's character, be jealous and envious of others, feel sorry for ourselves, get angry, etc. And then we're in trouble.

There's an easy way to avoid all that mess, though. It simple: believe the truth. Here's the truth: God loves you and is working for your good and His glory in all things. You might not see it, you might not feel it and you might not like it, but it's the truth. You have to hang onto that, Beloved, as if your life depends on it, because it does. You have to believe what God says is true, or else the devil will sift you like wheat in an instant. I know it's hard. Believe me, I know. There have been days, weeks, months where I couldn't see the light. Where I still can't see the light. I didn't understand why I had to go through this or that. I wanted to give up because I didn't see the point in fighting anymore, but God wouldn't let me by His grace.

I know that many of you have gone through much harder things than me. I only know a small part of your pain, of your hardships, of your struggles. But I do know this: you can make it with God by your side. There is a point to what you're going through, whatever it is. I don't know what it is, but God does. Don't give up, Beloved, or let Satan feed you lies. The Christian walk is a fight and a race. Those are hard things. It's hard to see how things will turn out and it's hard to keep going when it gets tough. But think about the end, Beloved. We do know how that will turn out. "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4.

This life is passing away. What seems like eternity now is really just a brief moment that will quickly pass. We can endure this life because our hope is not in this life, it's in the next. In the the game of Life the ending is retiring in a mansion. For Christians, the ending of real life is actually similar. We get a mansion. In heaven. With Jesus. Forever.

I Could Be Worse...Then Again...

It could be worse, couldn't it? No matter what you're going through, it could always get worse. It's funny how we comfort ourselves with that thought. We ease the pain we're going through by thinking about greater pain. There's only one problem with that way of thinking, however, and the problem is that it ignores the pain we're experiencing right now.

People usually approach pain/suffering/difficult circumstances one of two ways: they either suck it up and pretend their not hurting, or they wallow in it. I know... because I've done both. Obviously both responses are wrong from a Christian worldview. Job was an expert in wallowing until God gave him a talking to and brought him to his senses. Jonah was too, but we never see the result of that story. But what about the other side? What about pretending to be strong when we're not?

We live in a society that glorifies strength. Our society loves strong people, no matter how that portrays itself. Strong athletes, strong visionaries, strong leaders, strong thinkers, we love them all. With all the emphasis on strength, it's no wonder that being strong during the hard times in life seems like the best option. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Don't let people see your weakness. Be strong.

The Bible also talks about being strong. In 1 Corinthians 16:13 Paul writes to the church in Corinth, "Watch; Stand fast in the faith; Be brave; Be strong." The Bible talks about being strong in many other places, especially in the New Testament. We are to be strong Christians, no doubt. So what's wrong with approaching suffering like that?

The reason why I see a danger in pretending it doesn't hurt, or that it could be worse is this: It does hurt. I'm not concerned about the extent of the hurt, whether it be little or great. The truth is, whatever it is hurts, and it is a legitimate hurt. You don't need to excuse it or explain it away. I used to think I wasn't qualified to hurt because someone always had it worse. How could I be sad about losing a friend when people are being sold into slavery in southeast Asia? My hurt is just a drop in the bucket compared to their hurt! But God taught me and is teaching me that my hurt is just as real as their's. I shouldn't wallow in it, but I shouldn't ignore it either. God uses pain to teach us things we wouldn't learn otherwise, and if we ignore it then we are missing out on an opportunity to grow. I'll be the first to say this: I don't like pain. I would rather learn my lessons ANY OTHER WAY. When I am in a difficult situation I would like to say that I approach it with child-like trust in the God who controls everything, but usually I am kicking and screaming and trying to get out of it every way possible. It's true. Why is it so hard to trust a God who has proved himself faithful time and time again? Because it hurts. If it didn't, then where would trust come in? Who would need to trust God if everything was smooth sailing?

One last note before I close. I mentioned a verse and alluded to others that talk about being strong as Christians. We are to be strong, but not in our own strength. Our strength as Christians comes from the Holy Spirit. I'll end with some of my favorite verses, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Now that's the strength I'm talking about.

More Flour

Coming shortly