For the Love of Chocolate

This year I gave up chocolate for lent. This is the first year that I have observed lent, and it was good. I will probably do it again. I found, however, that my protestant friends really didn't know what to say when I told them why I wasn't eating chocolate. Usually the conversation just kind of awkwardly died, but some of the more outspoken ones said what everyone else was thinking: "Why?"

Why indeed.

Before I decided to take such a drastic step I pondered that very question. Why would I, a very non-Catholic person, observe a Catholic tradition? There were two main reasons, and a sub-reason. First, I wanted this Easter season to be more meaningful than in the past. This was accomplished by depriving myself of something that I usually eat every day, so that when I had the option to eat it but didn't, I would think of the reason why. It worked. Jesus' death and resurrection were on my mind much more than in the past. The second reason was that I wanted to honor Jesus' sacrifice by sacrificing something that I loved. My sacrifice wasn't even an iota of a molecule compared to Jesus' sacrifice, but so is everything else we give to Jesus. The greatest things we will ever do for Him are pathetically insignificant compared to His glory. However, that shouldn't stop us from giving them. The sub-reason was to show that I loved Jesus more than chocolate. I know that sounds ridiculous. Of course I love Jesus more than chocolate! But over the past seven weeks I have been humbled and shamed by my too great of love of the one, and my too little of love for the other.

Forgive me as I wax satirical for a minute. I LOVE chocolate! When I decided to give it up for lent, I wasn't sure if would be alive at the end of it. You see, I have three main food groups: chocolate, sugar, and cheese. Almost everything I eat includes one of these three. If you take one away, that leaves only two food groups left, and I had a hard enough time finding stuff to eat with three! Someone said that at first it would be hard not to eat chocolate, but then I would get used to it. That person was LYING! I have wanted chocolate every day since I started. Ice cream! Cake! Cookies! Brownies! Mochas! Candy! We live in a society that is basically swimming in chocolate I discovered. And I wanted to eat all of it. I realized how much I really do love chocolate.

And then to my everlasting shame and remorse, I compared my love of chocolate to my love of Jesus. Yes, I gave up chocolate for Jesus, but how easy is it to give up my quiet times? Easier than giving up chocolate? Do I see Jesus everywhere like I see chocolate everywhere? Do I long for Jesus like I long for chocolate? It doesn't matter what my answers are to the above questions. They need to be better. I don't love Jesus like I should. He deserves my every thought and my every action. His gospel needs to be the center of my existence, or else I am guilty of idol worship. I thought I was giving up chocolate for lent because I loved Jesus, but through the process I realized just how much I don't.

I'm saddened as I write this post. I want to be better; I thought I was better. The good news is that Christ loves me the same whether I'm weak or strong, whether I fail or succeed. I'm not celebrating Easter this year because I'm a good person, but because I'm a hopelessly sinful person whose sins were paid for on the cross of Christ. I'm celebrating His resurrection because without it, there is no hope for you and me.

Two things to leave you with. First, do you believe the gospel of Jesus Christ? There is nothing more important in your life than being right with God. You can deny His existence, you can say it doesn't matter, or you can believe in relative truth. At the end of the age, though, you will know the truth, but it will be too late. I can deny the existence of gravity, or I can say that what gravity means to you is not what it means to me, but if I step off of a building, I am going to fall every time. I beg you to believe the truth. Second, what idols do you have in your life that compete with Jesus? What would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why? And don't just think of common things. What about body image? Security? Self-esteem? Anything we place above Christ needs to move down. Prayerfully ask Him what is an idol in your life and He will show you. You have to be willing to change it, though, or else it won't do any good just to know about it. Believe me: Any sacrifice you make in this life, no matter how great, won't even matter in the next. The only thing that will matter is how much we loved and lived for Jesus.

Go and be blessed this Easter weekend.

When the Angels Dance

Tonight I had the privilege of watching The Thorn for the third time. For those of you who have not had the privilege, it is an amazing theatrical production of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. The cast is in the hundreds, the audience in the thousands. I think that every year I see it, the more I enjoy it. The reason I enjoy it so much is because it portrays the story of Jesus in a different way than I normally think about it. I believe it shows the humanity of Jesus exceedingly well. It also excels at showing the spiritual battle between darkness and light in a dramatic way. I need to be jolted out of my usual rut every now and then so that the familiar does not become common; The Thorn does this. However, my favorite part of the production, the part that I was looking forward to in eager anticipation is at the very beginning. It is the scene in heaven when the angels dance.

Imagine a stage where there are dozens of white creatures in flowing, shimmering outfits. Some are dancing, others are doing aerial gymnastics, some are swinging from ribbons suspended above the stage. Spinning, leaping, twirling, flipping. Always movement, beautiful movement. Creatures who are not marred by sin and pain expressing glory and praise to their Creator. This is why I love this scene. I want to be with them. I long to be with them. To be with them in a place where there is no more pain, nor death, nor tears. To worship my Creator and my Savior without the constraints of this world holding me back.

Did you know that this is why I love worship so much? When I worship God with my whole heart, I can, for the moment, forget about this world and for that brief moment get a very small taste of what heaven will be like. Oh, how I long for heaven. I remember at one service starting to weep because I wanted it so much. I was not content with what I had. I wanted it all right then. I wanted to see Jesus, to touch Jesus. But it was not to be. How long, O Lord, must we endure?

This life is hard. It always will be. Even on the best days there is sin and pain lingering in the background. I don't want to sound depressing, but this is the truth. If it was not like this, than heaven would be cheapened. In fact, we wouldn't even want heaven if there was no sin. We would just live in paradise here on earth. But that's obviously not the case. This is why heaven is the prize for those who run the race of faith and endure until the end. We cannot even imagine the joy heaven will be like because we have nothing to compare it to. It's like comparing a ten course meal to a crumb. But oh, it will be glorious. And the best part is that we will get to be with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ forever and ever. Amen.

Long for heaven, Beloved. If you don't, than figure out why not. This world has nothing for you. The best is yet to come. Go and be blessed.