Intentional Busyness

Wake up. Eat breakfast. Take a shower. Make the bed. Study calculus. Study microeconomics. Go on a walk. Eat lunch. Go to Wal-mart. Go to the library. Write some emails. Make brownies. Read the chapter for Bible study. Learn how to speed-read. Eat dinner. Go to Sam’s and price check some food for the retreat. Fill up the car with gas. Go to Bible study. Wind down on facebook. Write a list for tomorrow. Write one last email. Do devotions. Go to bed.

Life is busy. We all have stuff to do, places to be, people to talk to. Busyness is the plague of American society, but it’s the plague we’ve chosen for ourselves. We may complain about how busy we are, but deep down inside we like being busy. We like having stuff to do. It makes us feel important. I think I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: In America, being busy is a virtue. We respect people who get a lot done. If anyone is guilty of being busy it’s me. The above schedule is what a normal day can look like for me. Granted, I’m not usually that efficient, but I can be if I really try. I am a master of doing many, many things. Now, I don’t think that is wrong in itself, but I think it quickly can become wrong depending on the motivation and the activities. It says in Ephesians 5:16 to redeem the time because the days are evil. I can bring glory to God by not sitting around wasting my life playing solitaire, but rather using my talents to organize things and use the mind He has giving me to learn calculus and microeconomics. But the real issue is…do I do that? Do I use my activities to bring Him glory, or do I use it to glorify myself? (Ouch. This is getting painful. I want to write about something else right now.) The truth is that it doesn’t matter how many times I give God glory, what matters is how many times I DON’T. That is what needs to change; That is the real issue. It doesn’t matter how many things I do during the day if I don’t do it for the glory of God. He would rather I do one thing for Him as opposed to twenty things for me.

Let me talk about another aspect of redeeming the time. This one is also an area I need to work on. Colossians 4:5 says, “Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time.” This says the same thing as Ephesians 5:16, except it adds the part about “those who are outside.” Who are those people? From the context I am pretty confident that Paul is talking about unbelievers, but if we take it literally it is talking about people OUTSIDE; basically anyone who doesn’t live in the same house as we do. Where am I going with this? Simply this: we have a chance to redeem the time and glorify God in every situation, whether that be standing in line at Wal-mart or going on a walk. We interact with people every day, and we have control over how we act in those situations. We can treat the clerk at Wal-mart like every other customer she has helped that day, or we can make an effort and ask her how her day is going. We can slow down enough to hold open the door for the lady with a stroller, or we can breeze out the door while looking at our watch and thinking about how much we have left to do and never even see her. We can get so focused on our own list of stuff to check off that we stop caring about those “other” people; they are simply in the same location as we are, it has nothing to do with us. But what if it does have something to do with us? What if we look at every encounter with a stranger as an appointment set up by God? That changes things, doesn’t it? We don’t know what one kind word can mean for someone. We don’t know how God can use a conversation at the bookstore. We probably won’t ever know, but that shouldn’t matter. We need to rip the focus off of ourselves and our schedule and look at life through the perspective of putting other’s interests first for the glory of God. It sounds so easy. It is so hard. Sometimes we won’t want to. Sometimes it will make us late. Sometimes it won’t be appreciated. Most times we won’t get to tell people the reason why we do it. None of that matters. What matters is the condition of our heart. God will know why we do it, and that is all the reason I need.

Alter Ego

I don’t like filling out paperwork for Christian organizations/activities. Why? Because there is that little section usually on the second page that says “Testimony.” Now, that wouldn’t be a problem except for one little thing…I don’t really have one. I have a great testimony of what God has done in my life as a Christian, but I don’t have anything to say about how I became a Christian. To be honest, I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t a Christian, and I don’t remember the exact time I became one. I grew up in a Christian family and it was just a way of life. Obviously at some point I accepted Christ into my heart for myself and I wasn’t just going off my parent beliefs, but when that was is the question. So I have a big problem when I am supposed to write down my testimony. I think it is hilarious when they say that you can write on the back if you run out of room. Umm, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. I wish I had enough to say to write on the back. I wish I had a great testimony that would move people because of an amazing work of God in my life. Don’t get me wrong; I realize that God did an amazing work in my life because He does an amazing work in every believer’s life to bring them to Himself, but my was more subtle than most. So there I am…a testimony to write and nothing to say.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to fully appreciate God’s grace and forgiveness because I was never a “bad person.” Part of the reason I would love an amazing testimony is because I want to understand grace from the perspective of someone who was totally against God at one point and whose life dramatically changed when they became a Christian. Does that make sense? Maybe some of you feel the same way. Anyway, a little while ago God put this thought in my head: If it is hard for me to fully appreciate grace from the perspective of being saved from who I was, then I should think of grace from the perspective of who it saved me from becoming. I realize that might have been hard to follow, so let me explain. When I was saved I was a little kid, so I didn’t really look back and regret my life before Christ, because frankly I don’t remember it. I can, however, think of who I might have become if Christ didn’t save me and that is a scary thought. Have you ever thought about who you would be without Christ? If you haven’t I’ll help you out. First, take all of your sinful tendencies and bring them to the forefront. You know, the bitterness or discontent you let slip out from time to time, or the selfishness you try to hide. Next, take all of your characteristics that are godly and get rid of them. Third, add in an addiction (money, success, drugs) for good measure. (Some of you didn’t need to do that exercise because you know who you were. Some of us, though, never went down that road by the grace of God, so this helps.) So now you have a picture of who you would be without Christ. It’s not pretty, is it. I got a picture of who I would be without Christ when I was reading “Gone With the Wind.” I know it’s random, but I would be exactly like Scarlett O’Hara. When I saw that and when I understood, my heart overflowed with gratitude. Thank you, Jesus, for who you saved me from becoming. I could be so lost, yet you found me before that happened. I understand grace a little better now.

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace towards me was not in vain”
– I Corinthians 15:10a

Surviving, Striving, and Thriving

I was lying on my bed and sobbing. Crying because it hurt so badly I could barely breath. Crying because God’s plan didn’t make sense…again. Have you been there? Has your heart been broken to the point where you wonder if it can ever be whole again? Have you watched a friend or family member die and been unable to do anything about it? Have you ever been betrayed or hurt by someone you respected or trusted? Have you ever walked through a valley of suffering? I have…many, many times. And, I’ve had to watch friends and family go through these times, which is also very hard. These are the times when all we can do is survive. It takes every ounce of strength we have to get out of bed in the morning, put one foot in front of the other and get through the day just trying to pretend that we’re not falling apart on the inside. We can’t reach out to people because we’re hurting too much ourselves. We can’t do ministry. We can hardly do anything without thinking of the pain. There are times when that’s okay. It gives us time to come to terms with what has happened and to start coping with it. That being said, I would suggest that a lot of people are in the survival mode most of their life, even when they shouldn’t be. They don’t like their current situation and do the bare minimum to scrape by at life. They don’t put any extra effort into anything; they don’t reach out to people; they don’t do ministry. All they can think about is how they would want things to be different. Do you know people like that? Are you one of those people? I don’t believe that is the way we should live as Christians. I believe there is a more excellent way.

Busy, busy, busy. We as Americans are always busy. If we aren’t we feel pressured to be. Our culture views work as a virtue. What we do defines who we are. We are always striving to do more and more. I know I am probably the most guilty person in this camp. I have definitely had my moments in the surviving camp, but I live here most of the time. Striving to do more. Striving to do better. People in this camp might not feel sorry for themselves, but they don’t reach out to people or do ministry either because they are just too busy to. Or, if they do one of those activities, it is planned into the schedule and it is done with the mindset of having just one more thing to cross off the list so they can move on to the next thing. This is a step in the right direction, but it is only half-way. At least we strivers are attempting to do something outside of ourselves, but we are also missing the point. I believe there is a more excellent way.

Thriving. How many of us can say we thrive on a daily basis? To answer that question it might be helpful to have a definition of what thriving looks like. I think it will be different for different people, but I think there are some concepts that are probably universal. Thriving involves enjoying life. I’ve never heard of a depressed person describe their life as “thriving.” Thriving involves being there for people whenever they need it, not just when it fits on your schedule. Thriving is blooming where you are planted, not wishing you were in another garden. It means taking your situation and making the best out of it. Most of all, thriving is being secure in Christ and having the joy that only a relationship with Him can bring. I think a lot people are waiting around for something to change in their life before they start attempting to thrive. My advice: Thrive now. Your situation might not change, but your perspective will.

What are your thoughts? Do you think this happens? I would love to hear what you have to say. Thanks for reading!

Seeing the Invisible

I went on a date with God to Starbucks this morning. It was great…if you’ve never done it I’d highly encourage it. Just remember to bring your Bible because the first time I did it I forgot mine, and it’s kind of important : ) Anyway, I was reading from 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. That section is titled “Seeing the Invisible” in my Bible, and I immediately knew I had to write about that. I left Starbucks and started thinking about cool visible things I’ve seen recently-like the moon the other night when it was huge and yellow and sitting right on the horizon. Then I started thinking about how magnificent Cheyenne Mountain looked today since I was so close to it. While I was pondering the majesty of the mountains, I totally drove right past my exit. Talk about seeing the invisible…I can’t even see the visible, like the sign telling me my exit was coming up. I’m such a numb-nut sometimes. I’m sure God laughed when He created me because He knew how much fun we’d have together. So there I was on Hwy 115 heading south. I decided to take the next exit to get turned around, which just happened to be for the restricted road to Norad. As soon as I got off I had a bad feeling that I shouldn’t have taken that exit. I went a short ways and realized the situation was not improving, so at the last minute I pulled off on this paved section by the side of the road that had pot holes in it that were so deep I’m sure I could have heard Chinese in the bottom of them if I had tried. I sat in my car for approximately 53 seconds and surveyed the situation and thankfully found a solution to my problem. I got turned around without visiting China (which I kind of regret, but for which my car was thankful) and got off the restricted Norad road without being shot or arrested. My day had just dramatically improved. Two minutes before I was lost. Now I was not lost and not dead, which was a great feeling.

Ok, that story didn’t have anything to do with seeing the invisible, but it was kind of funny (at least to me) and it got you committed, so it worked. What exactly are the invisible things we are supposed to be seeing? Paul is referring to our spiritual life. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things that are seen are temporary, but the things that are not seen are eternal”. We can obviously see physical growth, but we can also see spiritual growth, or lack thereof. It might not be as obvious at first, but there will be a day when the way we followed Christ will be revealed, not only before men but also before God. That makes it so much more important that we look for the invisible not only in our own life but also in the lives of other so that we may encourage them. Do we seek to grow? Do we desire to become more like Christ? And, most importantly, are we actually taking the steps to accomplish that or do we just sit around and think about doing it? This is so important because the invisible things are the eternal things (v.18). We don’t want to mess up in this area. Too much is at stake.

Look for the invisible. Also look for the visible so you don’t miss your exit. They are both important : )

Where Did My Teeth Go?

I have the privilege this week of spending a couple nights with an elderly lady while her husband is away. She is still very independent, but unfortunately she has dementia, so she needs help remembering to take her medicine. While I was over there tonight she had misplaced her dentures, something that happens quite frequently I gathered. We spent about 30 minutes looking for them, but to no avail. It did give me a chance to think of an analogy, though, to our spiritual life.

How often do we lose our spiritual teeth? You know, the part of our mind that wrestles with spiritual truth and difficult passages. How often do we stop chewing on the Word because it’s tough, and then months later wonder where our teeth went? Believe me, I know it’s easy to accept everything you hear from your pastor or Christian leader that you trust without checking to make sure that it is in line with the Bible. I do it all the time, but I shouldn’t. Humans make mistakes, that just the way life is. Having someone that explains to you the difficult passages of Scripture is very helpful and beneficial, but we need to work through those passages ourselves, wrestle with them and draw our own conclusions based on the rest of Scripture. If we don’t, we are in a good place to lose our teeth. It might be easier to be spoon-fed, but one day we’ll wake up and realize that we don’t have any teeth left…and we won’t know where they’ve gone.

I Forgot What I Was Doing

This blog isn’t really about me. This is a blog about an amazing God who has shown Himself faithful and who has blessed me beyond measure by allowing me to be a part of His divine plan. This is a blog about my Savior and my best friend. I dance with God, and God dances with me.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth-Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord." Psalm 40 :1-2

I didn’t really forget, you know. I say that because it just seemed like I forgot. In reality God did an amazing work in my life and spun me around 180 degrees. It took a lot of prayers, crying, questions, searching, and grace. It took wandering through the desert of doubt and fear and it took being completely broken to get me to the place where I am today. I learned what it meant to totally surrender and I learned that God won’t leave you stranded forever-just long enough to let you realize that you are not the one in charge. Even though it was tough sometimes I wouldn’t trade this last year for anything. I wouldn’t trade the tears or the frustration or the uncertainty because it was a process that transformed me and my walk with the Lord and draws me closer ever closer with the Lover of my Soul.

It was May 2008. I was 19 and recently graduated with my associate degree in Interior Design. The logical thing to do was to start looking for a job in my field and become a useful citizen. The only problem was that I didn’t want to do interior design anymore. Oh, sure, I was good at it, decently good in fact, but deep down inside I knew I would never find fulfillment in making rich people’s nice houses look nicer by spending a lot of money. So my great plan was to find a place to go overseas for a couple months. I said I wanted to serve God and others through some type of service. That was partly true, but the whole truth is that I had no idea what I wanted and I thought that going overseas would 1)Let me run away from my problems and 2) Give me a few more months to get my life together.
Fast-forward to August. Let’s see, what changed? I was still a 19 year old burned out interior design graduate who didn’t have a clue, but now I was also extremely frustrated because all my plans for going overseas weren’t going anywhere. I was mad because if I had ever wanted something before I usually found a way to get it. God had a different idea. He was breaking me down- slowly, slowly.

September came and I finally decided to stop fighting God for control of my life. (It took me long enough!) For maybe the first time in my life I completely surrendered. Previously my attitude towards God was kind of, “This is what I want to do, so I hope that’s okay with you.” I know that sounds arrogant, but I was arrogant. I had learned how to be self-sufficient over the years, and although I’d never admit it, I think that was my attitude towards God as well. So it took quite awhile to chip away at my hard heart, but God won eventually-obviously. And I can’t tell you the peace I received as soon as I let go. I was still in the same position, but I was okay with it now.

So then what happened? God blessed me beyond measure. He made me wait a little while longer to make sure I really trusted Him and it wasn’t just lip service, and then He opened up a door for me to tour across the U.S. with the Emerge team from YWAM. I can’t tell you what an amazing experience that was, but maybe I’ll try anyways in a future post. I grew so much during those two months…it was amazing. I found myself, but more importantly, I found myself with Christ in control. I kept praying for God to showing me what He had for my future, but I didn’t receive an answer. The tour was almost over and I was about to be a 19 year old burned out interior design graduate who didn’t have a clue (but was trusting in God) again. Then one day when I was praying about it God said, “Don’t miss the forest because of the trees. “ I was like, “Huh? What does that have to do with anything?” Then two days before Thanksgiving a light bulb went off as I was reading about modern-day slavery. My heart was breaking and I was crying out to God about how He could allow such injustice and why He didn’t do something and He said, “I did do something. I made you. You go fight injustice.” (The forest and trees part was that the tour was focused on injustice, yet I didn’t see how that related to me up until that point. I was just the nanny, after all.) So God gave me the vision, but He didn’t give me how I would do it. That revelation came about a month and a half of searching later. Then God made it very clear that I was to go back to school and get a business degree, then go overseas and start a business that would give people who are victims of injustice another option and a skill set that they normally couldn’t get. I say God made it very clear, and how I know that is because I felt great peace about the decision even though I said I would never go back to school. I don’t how the pieces are going to fit together, but am walking by faith and trusting God to make things work out. I can honestly say that I have never been more joyful than I have been these last five or six months. Oh, there have been times when I let my faith waver and doubt creep in, and times when I want to take control again (like every day) but God extends grace even to those who are least deserving. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m clinging to the One who does. And that is a great place to be.

(I realize that was an extremely long post, so thank you to all of you who actually read the whole thing. I promise that future posts won’t be that long, but I felt it would be good for you to see where I’m coming from.)