Why? It Doesn't Make Sense, God.

It hurts so much sometimes. Sometimes I’ve cried so hard that I couldn’t breath because the pain was so deep. Other times I would have done anything just to escape. Sometimes I’ve been so numb I couldn’t feel anything at all.

There are times in our lives when God’s plan doesn’t make sense. There are times when all I can ask God is “Why?” Why did he have to die? Why did September 11th have to happen? I’ve prayed, “You could have healed them, God! You could have prevented that accident! You could have kept them from dying!” And ever so softly, God whispers to my anguished heart, “Yes, I could have, but I didn’t, because My plan is bigger than what you can see.” It times like these where I have to cling desperately to the truths I know: God is good. God loves us. God is in control. And God says “No” sometimes. It doesn’t make sense in my little human brain. In my mind, I don’t see why people have to suffer. If I could, I would eliminate all the suffering in this world. But God doesn’t see things from a human perspective. He does things for His glory, things that might not make sense to us. If I could see the cosmic plan the way God sees it I wouldn’t have these questions. I have to admit that I don’t know why, and that’s why it is so hard. I have to make myself believe the things I know are true, even if I don’t feel like it, even if I don’t see why they happened. The Christian life isn’t about feelings, it’s about truth. If we lived solely off of feelings we would all turn away the first bumpy patch we hit. Sometimes I don’t feel like reading my Bible, but I know those are the times I need to the most. Sometimes I might not feel that God is just or good, but that doesn’t change the fact that He is.
So what do we do? We lean on the God of grace and keep living. We can’t stop it, we can’t go back. All we can do is keep moving forward and trust God to get us through the tough patches. There are going to be things we don’t understand and can’t explain. We’re going to cry sometimes. We might have to get through the race of faith crawling on our hands and knees, but at the end of it all, it will be worth it. The prize is worth the pain.

My God is good. My God is love. I believe that, so I trust Him. End of story.