Real

I wrote this poem about a year ago. I think it is one of the best poems I have written, but I'll let you judge that for yourself. I wrote it at a fundraising dinner on a napkin during the main speech. All of the sudden words and sentences started pouring out and it was started and finished just like that. I didn't mean to ignore the speech, but it had to come out. The title of the poem is Real, not only because that's what it's about, but because I was being real and honest when I wrote it. I was struggling, and I needed a friend like I describe in the poem. I praise and thank God that I have friends who helped me through those days, because I desperately needed them. I don't know if they all knew how much I was hurting because I struggle with a sin called pride, and therefore I have trouble letting people see my weaknesses, so because of that I missed an opportunity to tell them how much they meant to me. But if you're reading this blog, and you knew me last year and what I was going through, and I talked to you about it, thank you for being there for me. I couldn't have done it without you.

Real

"I'm fine, life's good...
Busy this week,
I guess I always am.
Gotta go, catch you later."

No, I'm not really fine,
Do you know that?
Do you see the person behind the mask?
The person who seems to have everything together,
But is falling apart inside?
Do you know that person...

...Do you care?

Did you know how hard it was to give you that smile?
Well, I guess it wasn't;
It's automatic now.

But it wasn't real.

What do I want?
Well, I don't want someone to fix my problems.
I don't want to bleed my heart all over you
And make you clean up the mess.
I'm not like that.

I just want to know someone's there...
...that they care.
I just want someone to walk through this with me.
What I want....

...Is a friend.

I just want someone to talk to,
Nothing serious, just chit chat,
But real chit chat.
It keeps me from sinking into self-pity.

Walking with you through life
Puts mine into perspective.
You're broken?

I'm broken, too.

You're hurting?

I'm hurting, too.

To be honest, sometimes it feels
As if my whole life
Is falling apart.

And I can't do anything but watch.

We need each other.
Don't let me walk alone,
And I promise:

I won't let you walk alone, either.

We're going to make it, friend
And we're going to make it

Together.



Dedicated to all my friends who have always been there for me. I am truly blessed.

Copyrighted by Katie Franck

Humbled and Amazed

Ok, I admit it, I broke my New Year's resolution last week. I do have an excuse though, if you would like to hear it. In a span of four days I started a new job, got engaged, and worked two overnight shifts in a row. Somehow I didn't quite get around to writing a blog for some reason...hmmm.

But here I am, attempting to keep my resolution once more. This is going to be a short post but hopefully it will be encouraging.

2010 was a hard year for me. God tested me in ways that broke my heart so many times. I had to make impossible choices that a lot people didn't understand, and my only justification for them was that I was doing what I thought God was asking me to. There were days when I had to just try to make it through the day with out disintegrating. There were months when I watched my entire world crumble before me. And during the course of the entire year, God asked me to surrender almost everything that is important to me, with the very real possibility that He was going to take it away. It's easy to trust God when life is easy, but much harder when trusting means sacrifice. Many times last year I prayed for a miracle, knowing in my heart that I didn't have enough faith to believe that God would do it. But something amazing happened.

God heard my prayer, and He answered me.

God took everything away from me, and then He gave it all back. Everything I prayed for last year God has done. When I think of that, I am overwhelmed by His love for me. He could have taken everything away from me and still I would have served Him, because I live my life for His glory, however He chooses to show it. But He didn't, because His plan involved blessing me beyond my wildest dreams. I don't know why, but I don't have to. I still live my life for the glory of God, however He chooses to show it. Feast or famine, desert or paradise, my life is God's to use for His glory.

When I think back to those dark days it still hurts, but I'm grateful for them. My faith grew so much because it was so hard. If you are going through a trial right now, I'm sorry. I know how hard it can be. But remember the hope we have have through Jesus Christ. If you believe in His death for your sins, and His resurrection three days later, than you have the promise of a future where He will wipe away all of the tears from your eyes, and where there will be no more death, nor crying, nor pain. The trials we experience only last during this life, Beloved, and after that, we have eternity to spend with Jesus in glorious paradise. Cling to that hope.

Bush Man

I was in beautiful San Francisco last weekend with my sister and a good friend. We saw many interesting things, but what I am about to tell you next is probably the most intersting of them all. We took the Muni (aka the public bus system) around everywhere we went, and on the second day we took it down to Pier 39. A couple of stops before we got off, a homeless man got on carrying a big bundle of freshly cut leafy branches. They were about 3 feet long and rather cumbersome in the bus. When we got off at our stop he stayed on. We looked around the pier for a couple hours and then walked down a couple of blocks for lunch. On our way back, we saw the man with the branches again. He was kneeling on the sidewalk and holding the branches in front of him, so they kind of looked like a bush and he was mostly hidden behind them. As we walked by, he jumped out at a person walking the other direction, presumably to scare them. Apparently this is what he did to make money, although we didn't see a cup or hat or anything on the sidewalk.

This is rather an amusing story, mainly because it seems like an odd way to make money, if that's what he was doing. It got me thinking, "Why is he doing that?" That thought in turn got me thinking of another question: Why do I do what I do? Everyone has a reason for what they do, whether they realize it or not. The man hiding behind the branches on the sidewalk had a reason for doing that, and I had reason for walking by to see him. Nothing happens by accident. You made a choice to do everything you did today,and so I ask you, "Why did you do it?" At first the answers seem obvious, but I encourage you to dig deeper. Why am I writing this blog? At first, the answer is because one of my new year's resolution was to write one blog a week, and I am running out of time for this week. Going deeper, however, I discover that I don't want to fail at keeping my resolution, and publically fail at that, which is the motivation behind this blog. That in turn could lead to if I worry about how I look in other people's eyes and keeping a good face. At that point I learn something about myself. I could do this for all of my activities, and I am sure it would be very revealing.

The point of doing this little excercise is to check my motives and see what they are, and what they should be. Am I glorifying God in ALL my actions? Are the surface motives that I want people to see the same as my inward motives? I challenge you: Take one area or one activity and really question yourself on why you do it. If you need a good place to start, try it for Facebook and see what you discover. I'd love to hear about it!

Before the Throne of God Above

BEFORE THE THRONE OF GOD ABOVE

Before the throne of God above

I have a high and perfect plea

A great high priest whose name is love

Who ever lives and pleads for me

My name graven on His hands

My name written on His heart

I know that while in heaven He stands

No tongue can bid me thence depart

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end to all my sin

Because sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free

For God the Just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me

Hallejulah, hallejulah!

Praise the one, the risen Son of God

Behold Him there the risen lamb

My perfect, spotless righteousness

The great unchangeable I Am

The King of glory and of grace

One with himself I cannot die

My soul is purchased by His blood

My life is hid with Christ on high

With Christ my Savior and my God

Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

Praise the one, the risen Son of God

When I hear this song and read the lyrics, it gives me chills. It tells so eloquently and yet so simply our position in Christ. My favorite verse is: "Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free. For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me." It's simple, and yet so profound. As Christians, we need to remind ourselves of the gospel regularly. I was reminded of this again and again last year, though books I read and sermons I listened to. And yet, every time I heard it, I needed to hear it again. It seems strange the the cornerstone of Christianity can be overlooked so easily, and yet it is. We think that we know the gospel and so instead of dwelling on it every day, we start working on being good Christians by crossing our t's and dotting out i's. Too soon we forget why we're doing what we're doing. The simple truth is this: you cannot think of the gospel too much; it is the essence of Christianity. The other reason I like this song is because of the hallelujah part. You hear the words, you realize once again what Christ did, and your heart overflows with gratitude. And then the song switches from theology to praise, right at the perfect moment. It's beautiful.

I challenge you: Sit down and think about the gospel today. And tomorrow. And thank God for what He's done for you. You won't regret it.

I Am Resolved

Happy New Year to all twelve people who read my blog : ) Don't worry, it doesn't bother me. I write more for myself than for anyone else. Blogging let's me organize my thoughts and share something that I feel might be beneficial to someone else. Wasn't that the purpose of blogs in the first place? That being said, let me share one of my new year's resolution for 2011.

I am resolved to write a blog at least once a week.

There. I've said it. In once sense, I glad that I am forcing myself to be disciplined. In another sense, I'm scared of adding another commitment to my already semi-crazy life. How will I find time? How will I think of things to write about? What if I fail and everyone knows it since I've posted it for everyone to see?

I don't know how this will work out. Up until now, writing one post a month has been a challenge. Some things will probably change, such as the posts will probably we shorter, which might be a blessing for my reading audience. I will also probably have to give something else up, which will probably be facebook time.

The question that naturally follows is this: Why am I doing this? First and most of all, I was convicted by a post by my fellow blogger Aaron Katreeb on discipline. I am disciplined in many areas of my life, but this is not one of them. I believe in discipline in all areas of life, and the more areas it is in, the easier it gets. I know some of you might cringe at the word discipline. It conjures up images of an army-like regulated life with no fun or excitement. Let me tell you something: my life ain't nothing like that. I have a lot of fun, and it is very exciting. I believe that my life is like that because I am disciplined and the freedom that it brings. I could write a whole post just about that, and maybe I will, but not right now. The other reason I decided on this resolution is because many people have told me: "You should write more, Katie." I usually agree with them, and then I usually don't. I believe my ability to write is a gift from God, and I don't want to waste something God gave me. Right now, I am using that gift in a small way in my little blog, but that's better than nothing. I'd rather return to God one talent than bury it in the ground and give Him nothing in return. I believe that this is both my obligation and my privilege.

So there it is. I'm counting on you, people, to help me keep this resolution. If you have an idea that you want me to write about, drop me a line. I could use some ideas. Thank you for your faithful reading over the past two years.

Katie

The Miracle of Christmas

The King of Heaven came down to us.
He came to a sinful world full of sinners who sinned-
Sinned against Him.
But He didn't sin.
Instead, He loved them.
He loved us.

He came in the humblest of ways,
As the humblest of beings:
A Baby.
Helpless.
Born of girl who was a nobody
From a nothing town.

He was hated, despised
His life was threatened from infancy
To adulthood
Until finally, the threat became reality.

He was wounded for our transgressions
He was bruised for our iniquities
The chastisement for our sins was upon Him
And by His stripes, we are healed.

The death He died for us,
Was invented for its cruelty.
The suffering it caused is staggering.
And yet,
He suffered that for us, and that was only the beginning.

The Son endured the wrath of the Father;
Wrath He didn't deserve for sins He didn't commit.
And yet, He took our place.
Because we couldn't save ourselves,
He saved us.

The miracle is not that Jesus came to save the lost:
That was simple obedience.
The miracle is that He loved those
He came to save.

The miracle is that Jesus came down at Christmas
To a broken, hopeless world.
And He lived a perfect life.
And when He went to the cross,
He saw a very desperate you and a really pathetic me in the distance
And He died anyways.

If that doesn't amaze you
Why not?


Passages adapted with poetic license taken from "Living Whole Without a Better Half", "Lover of My Soul" and Isaiah 53:5

The Other Side of Christmas

There are so many words associated with Christmas: joy, peace, love and goodwill, just to name a few. Feelings associated with Christmas are usually what can be called warm and fuzzy. For many people, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, and rightly so. For Christians, Christmas is the season we celebrate God becoming one of us, a baby born to save us from our sin. I could use this whole blog just to wax eloquently about God becoming on of us, because out of all the things the Bible talks about, that is one of the things that never ceases to amaze me. But, I am not going to do that, because this blog is about something else. Even for non-Christians, Christmas is usually a season of happiness and goodwill. But was it always like that? Or, is there a different side of Christmas than what we usually think about?

Think about times in your life that you grew the most, specifically spiritually. Those are usually good memories because you remember the outcome and how beneficial it was. But I am guessing that those were hard times, too. From my experience, the best times of growth are when life's the hardest. They seem to go hand in hand. But, by the grace of God, we usually remember the good better than we remember the bad. It's like how a mother forgets the labor when she sees her baby for the first time. Why do I mention this? Because I am speculating that with the Christmas story (i.e. the birth of Jesus) the hard part has faded and we are left with the happy, joyful story we are familiar with.

Let me take you to the possible other side of the Christmas story. I don't know if this is accurate, because I wasn't there, but roll with me on this one and see what you think. My goal is to look at a familiar story a different way. Mary was a young teenage girl who was pregnant. Besides from all of the normal uncertainties and fears that come with being pregnant, especially for the first time, along with morning sickness and everything else, Mary was unwed. Unwed girls that were pregnant in that day could have been stoned. Do you think Mary might have been a little fearful about that? Even her own fiance didn't believe her at the beginning, so probably there were some other people who didn't either. We know she wasn't stoned, but she might have been shunned, outcast, or any of the other ways people can show disapproval. I always thought that she went to go see Elizabeth for as long as she did because it was getting uncomfortable for her to stay in her own village, but I don't know for sure. There was some fear for Joseph, too. The angel said, "Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife." His fear might have been about a soiled reputation. He was a just man, the Bible says, and so it wouldn't look good for him to have a pregnant betrothed. It would hurt his reputation. So here we have two people who are doing the right thing, but who are maybe uncertain and fearful about how this is going to turn out.

Next scene: Bethlehem. Joseph and Mary have traveled for days. She is nine months pregnant. It doesn't matter how you travel at nine months pregnant, it is going to be uncomfortable. Tired and dirty, they make it to Bethlehem right as the first contractions start. There's no room in any inn, so they get sent to the stable. Imagine driving across the United States from Virginia to California and camping all the way. When you get to California smelly and tired, instead of a hotel with a hot shower and soft bed, you have to sleep on the floor in a smelly barn. In nativity scenes it's cute. In real life, maybe not so much. Mary gives birth in a strange town with strange people. She knows her child is the Messiah, but is it possible that in the moment that fact is overwhelmed by the uncomfortableness and uncertainty? You've been there; I've been there. In my head I know God is in control and that everything is happening for His glory. But sometimes my head doesn't connect to my heart real well, and life can seem out of control, painful, uncertain, and I forget the bigger picture. Did Mary ever forget the bigger picture?

Next scene: It's been maybe a year or two. Things have settled down for the young family. They are still in Bethlehem, and they now have a house. Did they not go back to their home village because of the hostility they faced the last time they were there? Is there nothing and no one to go back to? Out of nowhere, wise men appear the east. They bear expensive gifts and they come to worship the King. The words of the angel are confirmed, and yet on the heels of this wonderful moment comes a new fear: Herod now knows of the Messiah, and he wants him dead. Imagine you're Mary. The most powerful man in the region wants to kill your son. How does that feel? A little terrifying, maybe? Joseph is told in a dream to take his family to Egypt to escape the wrath of Herod. Matthew 2:14 says, "When he arose, he took the young Child and His mother by night and departed for Egypt." Just like that. He has a dream, BOOM! He gets up, gets Mary and Jesus and leaves. The life they had established in Bethlehem is wiped out in an instance. They probably didn't get to say goodbye to friends. They literally run for their lives to Egypt. A new town, again. They probably don't know anyone, again. They have to start all over, again. This time they don't even know the language.

I don't think the first Christmas was easy for Mary and Joseph, and I don't think that the following years were easy, either. They had to endure faith-trying difficulties and uncertainties, but they were people of faith, so they were able to. They had a promise from God, and they held onto that promise whenever things were uncertain or frightening. I wanted to write about this because I think so often we forget that the people in the Bible were people, just like us. So often we forget that they didn't know the ending to their story when they made tough decisions, just like we don't know how things will turn out when we have to make tough decisions. When David said he would face Goliath, he didn't know that he would kill him, or the string of events that would follow from that. When Daniel defied the king and prayed to God, he didn't know his life would be spared in the lion's den. They were people, just like Mary and Joseph were people. The Bible is so much more enriching and encouraging when we think of it like that. So I encourage you this Christmas to put yourself in the story that you have heard so often. See it through new eyes. Look at it a different way, and see something new.