Hello Readers. You have probably noticed that I haven't posted anything for awhile. The reason for this is because I started a new blog back in October which is a year-long or so endevor to find, appreciate, and nurture joy in my life. If you are interested, here is the link:
http://the365daysofjoy.blogspot.com/
I will come back to this blog once the other one is complete. Thank you!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
It's Not Always Going To Be Like This
Not Always Like This
It's not always going to be like this...
...some things will get better
...some things will get worse
...and not much is going to stay the same
But that's okay.
It's not always going to feel like this...
...joy like this or hurt like this
...ache like this or love like this
But that's okay, too.
It's not always going to be this easy,
And it's not always going to be this hard.
Your circumstances are going to change
Your knowledge is going to change
Your relationships are going to change
Your feelings are going to change
Your attitude is going to change
You are going change.
You will not always be like this.
And that's okay.
This poem has a two-fold purpose. First, I want to encourage those who are going through a hard time, whatever the situation might be. It's not always going to be like this. I know it feels like it sometimes, but you can choose to control your feelings, not let your feelings control you. I'm not promising a utopian life and God hasn't promised a utopian life, but He has promised eternal life for those who believe in His Son. So, know that whether it is in this life or in the next, there is hope for a brighter day.
Secondly, I wrote this poem to say that change is okay. I know a lot of people who don't like change, and I can understand why. When things change, something that was known has now become unknown, and things that are unknown can be frightening. But change isn't necessarily bad, it's just different. We live our whole lives in a continuous flow of things changing, and if we are constantly pining over how things used to be instead of embracing how things are now, then we risk missing opportunities and robbing ourselves of joy. Please don't waste the present while waiting for something better to come along, or waiting for it to go back to the way it was. Your life is too precious for that. Live in the present, embrace the present, and if you don't like it, then change it.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
For the Love of Chocolate
This year I gave up chocolate for lent. This is the first year that I have observed lent, and it was good. I will probably do it again. I found, however, that my protestant friends really didn't know what to say when I told them why I wasn't eating chocolate. Usually the conversation just kind of awkwardly died, but some of the more outspoken ones said what everyone else was thinking: "Why?"
Why indeed.
Before I decided to take such a drastic step I pondered that very question. Why would I, a very non-Catholic person, observe a Catholic tradition? There were two main reasons, and a sub-reason. First, I wanted this Easter season to be more meaningful than in the past. This was accomplished by depriving myself of something that I usually eat every day, so that when I had the option to eat it but didn't, I would think of the reason why. It worked. Jesus' death and resurrection were on my mind much more than in the past. The second reason was that I wanted to honor Jesus' sacrifice by sacrificing something that I loved. My sacrifice wasn't even an iota of a molecule compared to Jesus' sacrifice, but so is everything else we give to Jesus. The greatest things we will ever do for Him are pathetically insignificant compared to His glory. However, that shouldn't stop us from giving them. The sub-reason was to show that I loved Jesus more than chocolate. I know that sounds ridiculous. Of course I love Jesus more than chocolate! But over the past seven weeks I have been humbled and shamed by my too great of love of the one, and my too little of love for the other.
Forgive me as I wax satirical for a minute. I LOVE chocolate! When I decided to give it up for lent, I wasn't sure if would be alive at the end of it. You see, I have three main food groups: chocolate, sugar, and cheese. Almost everything I eat includes one of these three. If you take one away, that leaves only two food groups left, and I had a hard enough time finding stuff to eat with three! Someone said that at first it would be hard not to eat chocolate, but then I would get used to it. That person was LYING! I have wanted chocolate every day since I started. Ice cream! Cake! Cookies! Brownies! Mochas! Candy! We live in a society that is basically swimming in chocolate I discovered. And I wanted to eat all of it. I realized how much I really do love chocolate.
And then to my everlasting shame and remorse, I compared my love of chocolate to my love of Jesus. Yes, I gave up chocolate for Jesus, but how easy is it to give up my quiet times? Easier than giving up chocolate? Do I see Jesus everywhere like I see chocolate everywhere? Do I long for Jesus like I long for chocolate? It doesn't matter what my answers are to the above questions. They need to be better. I don't love Jesus like I should. He deserves my every thought and my every action. His gospel needs to be the center of my existence, or else I am guilty of idol worship. I thought I was giving up chocolate for lent because I loved Jesus, but through the process I realized just how much I don't.
I'm saddened as I write this post. I want to be better; I thought I was better. The good news is that Christ loves me the same whether I'm weak or strong, whether I fail or succeed. I'm not celebrating Easter this year because I'm a good person, but because I'm a hopelessly sinful person whose sins were paid for on the cross of Christ. I'm celebrating His resurrection because without it, there is no hope for you and me.
Two things to leave you with. First, do you believe the gospel of Jesus Christ? There is nothing more important in your life than being right with God. You can deny His existence, you can say it doesn't matter, or you can believe in relative truth. At the end of the age, though, you will know the truth, but it will be too late. I can deny the existence of gravity, or I can say that what gravity means to you is not what it means to me, but if I step off of a building, I am going to fall every time. I beg you to believe the truth. Second, what idols do you have in your life that compete with Jesus? What would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why? And don't just think of common things. What about body image? Security? Self-esteem? Anything we place above Christ needs to move down. Prayerfully ask Him what is an idol in your life and He will show you. You have to be willing to change it, though, or else it won't do any good just to know about it. Believe me: Any sacrifice you make in this life, no matter how great, won't even matter in the next. The only thing that will matter is how much we loved and lived for Jesus.
Go and be blessed this Easter weekend.
Why indeed.
Before I decided to take such a drastic step I pondered that very question. Why would I, a very non-Catholic person, observe a Catholic tradition? There were two main reasons, and a sub-reason. First, I wanted this Easter season to be more meaningful than in the past. This was accomplished by depriving myself of something that I usually eat every day, so that when I had the option to eat it but didn't, I would think of the reason why. It worked. Jesus' death and resurrection were on my mind much more than in the past. The second reason was that I wanted to honor Jesus' sacrifice by sacrificing something that I loved. My sacrifice wasn't even an iota of a molecule compared to Jesus' sacrifice, but so is everything else we give to Jesus. The greatest things we will ever do for Him are pathetically insignificant compared to His glory. However, that shouldn't stop us from giving them. The sub-reason was to show that I loved Jesus more than chocolate. I know that sounds ridiculous. Of course I love Jesus more than chocolate! But over the past seven weeks I have been humbled and shamed by my too great of love of the one, and my too little of love for the other.
Forgive me as I wax satirical for a minute. I LOVE chocolate! When I decided to give it up for lent, I wasn't sure if would be alive at the end of it. You see, I have three main food groups: chocolate, sugar, and cheese. Almost everything I eat includes one of these three. If you take one away, that leaves only two food groups left, and I had a hard enough time finding stuff to eat with three! Someone said that at first it would be hard not to eat chocolate, but then I would get used to it. That person was LYING! I have wanted chocolate every day since I started. Ice cream! Cake! Cookies! Brownies! Mochas! Candy! We live in a society that is basically swimming in chocolate I discovered. And I wanted to eat all of it. I realized how much I really do love chocolate.
And then to my everlasting shame and remorse, I compared my love of chocolate to my love of Jesus. Yes, I gave up chocolate for Jesus, but how easy is it to give up my quiet times? Easier than giving up chocolate? Do I see Jesus everywhere like I see chocolate everywhere? Do I long for Jesus like I long for chocolate? It doesn't matter what my answers are to the above questions. They need to be better. I don't love Jesus like I should. He deserves my every thought and my every action. His gospel needs to be the center of my existence, or else I am guilty of idol worship. I thought I was giving up chocolate for lent because I loved Jesus, but through the process I realized just how much I don't.
I'm saddened as I write this post. I want to be better; I thought I was better. The good news is that Christ loves me the same whether I'm weak or strong, whether I fail or succeed. I'm not celebrating Easter this year because I'm a good person, but because I'm a hopelessly sinful person whose sins were paid for on the cross of Christ. I'm celebrating His resurrection because without it, there is no hope for you and me.
Two things to leave you with. First, do you believe the gospel of Jesus Christ? There is nothing more important in your life than being right with God. You can deny His existence, you can say it doesn't matter, or you can believe in relative truth. At the end of the age, though, you will know the truth, but it will be too late. I can deny the existence of gravity, or I can say that what gravity means to you is not what it means to me, but if I step off of a building, I am going to fall every time. I beg you to believe the truth. Second, what idols do you have in your life that compete with Jesus? What would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why? And don't just think of common things. What about body image? Security? Self-esteem? Anything we place above Christ needs to move down. Prayerfully ask Him what is an idol in your life and He will show you. You have to be willing to change it, though, or else it won't do any good just to know about it. Believe me: Any sacrifice you make in this life, no matter how great, won't even matter in the next. The only thing that will matter is how much we loved and lived for Jesus.
Go and be blessed this Easter weekend.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
When the Angels Dance
Tonight I had the privilege of watching The Thorn for the third time. For those of you who have not had the privilege, it is an amazing theatrical production of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. The cast is in the hundreds, the audience in the thousands. I think that every year I see it, the more I enjoy it. The reason I enjoy it so much is because it portrays the story of Jesus in a different way than I normally think about it. I believe it shows the humanity of Jesus exceedingly well. It also excels at showing the spiritual battle between darkness and light in a dramatic way. I need to be jolted out of my usual rut every now and then so that the familiar does not become common; The Thorn does this. However, my favorite part of the production, the part that I was looking forward to in eager anticipation is at the very beginning. It is the scene in heaven when the angels dance.
Imagine a stage where there are dozens of white creatures in flowing, shimmering outfits. Some are dancing, others are doing aerial gymnastics, some are swinging from ribbons suspended above the stage. Spinning, leaping, twirling, flipping. Always movement, beautiful movement. Creatures who are not marred by sin and pain expressing glory and praise to their Creator. This is why I love this scene. I want to be with them. I long to be with them. To be with them in a place where there is no more pain, nor death, nor tears. To worship my Creator and my Savior without the constraints of this world holding me back.
Did you know that this is why I love worship so much? When I worship God with my whole heart, I can, for the moment, forget about this world and for that brief moment get a very small taste of what heaven will be like. Oh, how I long for heaven. I remember at one service starting to weep because I wanted it so much. I was not content with what I had. I wanted it all right then. I wanted to see Jesus, to touch Jesus. But it was not to be. How long, O Lord, must we endure?
This life is hard. It always will be. Even on the best days there is sin and pain lingering in the background. I don't want to sound depressing, but this is the truth. If it was not like this, than heaven would be cheapened. In fact, we wouldn't even want heaven if there was no sin. We would just live in paradise here on earth. But that's obviously not the case. This is why heaven is the prize for those who run the race of faith and endure until the end. We cannot even imagine the joy heaven will be like because we have nothing to compare it to. It's like comparing a ten course meal to a crumb. But oh, it will be glorious. And the best part is that we will get to be with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ forever and ever. Amen.
Long for heaven, Beloved. If you don't, than figure out why not. This world has nothing for you. The best is yet to come. Go and be blessed.
Imagine a stage where there are dozens of white creatures in flowing, shimmering outfits. Some are dancing, others are doing aerial gymnastics, some are swinging from ribbons suspended above the stage. Spinning, leaping, twirling, flipping. Always movement, beautiful movement. Creatures who are not marred by sin and pain expressing glory and praise to their Creator. This is why I love this scene. I want to be with them. I long to be with them. To be with them in a place where there is no more pain, nor death, nor tears. To worship my Creator and my Savior without the constraints of this world holding me back.
Did you know that this is why I love worship so much? When I worship God with my whole heart, I can, for the moment, forget about this world and for that brief moment get a very small taste of what heaven will be like. Oh, how I long for heaven. I remember at one service starting to weep because I wanted it so much. I was not content with what I had. I wanted it all right then. I wanted to see Jesus, to touch Jesus. But it was not to be. How long, O Lord, must we endure?
This life is hard. It always will be. Even on the best days there is sin and pain lingering in the background. I don't want to sound depressing, but this is the truth. If it was not like this, than heaven would be cheapened. In fact, we wouldn't even want heaven if there was no sin. We would just live in paradise here on earth. But that's obviously not the case. This is why heaven is the prize for those who run the race of faith and endure until the end. We cannot even imagine the joy heaven will be like because we have nothing to compare it to. It's like comparing a ten course meal to a crumb. But oh, it will be glorious. And the best part is that we will get to be with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ forever and ever. Amen.
Long for heaven, Beloved. If you don't, than figure out why not. This world has nothing for you. The best is yet to come. Go and be blessed.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Where Did All The Passion Go?
As I was thinking about what I would write about this week, I had several different ideas. But one topic that really grabbed me was when a friend told me, "I'm struggling with finding passion in life." This friend is not alone. I have had many friends tell me this exact same thing in the recent months, and I myself have struggled with it as well in the past. Where has all the passion gone? Why do people feel like they live without purpose and direction? How can they get out of this rut they are in?
I'm not a doctor or a scientist or psychiatrist. I haven't studied this topic or done extensive research on it. But I've lived it, and I think there is a lot to gain from life experience, which is why I feel qualified to write about it. Take it for what it is: the musings of girl who has felt the ache of a passionless life, who found passion through God's leading and in God's timing, and now aches for others haven't reached that point yet. To begin: my story. It was the year I graduated with my first associate's degree. I was done with college, and I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do in life. All I knew was that I was not ready to settle down with a full-time job and I had no interest in pursuing the career that my degree was in. I explored one option and then another, all leading to dead ends and closed doors. By the middle of summer I was getting fed up. I am not a directionless person. I have always had a plan and gone for it gun-ho, so wandering aimlessly was extremely frustrating to me. This sounds odd now, but in order to force myself to make a decision about my future and take action I quit my job. It was a job that I had once loved but knew that I could never make a career out of it, and at the time it was just another area that lacked my passion or interest. Looking back I can't say if that was the wisest decision or not, but I know that God used it. But what that did immediately was leave me in a position where I was doing nothing. I was a directionless being with no job and no passion to find another one. This is the essence of a passionless life: You don't have interest in what you are doing currently, and you can't find that one thing that does interest or motivates you. So basically you're stuck with no idea how to get out. This is frustrating. You can't just snap your fingers and suddenly become passionate about something; that's not how it works. So how does one find passion and direction in life?
I'm not going to answer that, because I can't. It's different for everyone and I can't tell you steps A,B, and C that will help you find your purpose in life. I can't help you, but God can. Draw close to His heart and hear His heartbeat for you. Ask Him how you can live your life for His glory. I know this kind of sounds like an oxymoron, because more often than not, if you are lacking passion in life, your relationship with God is also lacking. If you had passion about seeking God than you would not be living a completely passionless life, yes? How can you hear God if you are so far away from God? How can you seek God when you have no desire to seek Him? Again, God can help you. Go to Him and be completely honest. I have told God, "I have no desire to seek You and become close to You right now. But I know that should, so You are going to have to help and bring me to Yourself." And He did, because God is faithful. He did it by bringing a very difficult and painful situation in my life, where He stripped everything else away until the only thing I could cling to was Him. But it worked, and my relationship with God became closer than ever before.
This leads me to the actual purpose of writing this blog. I can't tell you specifically how to find your passion, but I can share thoughts on how to survive the wanderings to get to that point. The most important part is to realize that God is using this season of your life, and that no matter how purposeless it feels, it does have a purpose. I admit that this purpose is hard to see, but you have to believe that God hasn't forgotten you, and that He is molding and shaping you through this dry period. Second, focus on others. There is no faster way to throw pity party for yourself than to continually focus on yourself and your problems and lack of passion. Serve others, serve in your church, help out at the local food kitchen, do something that helps someone else. This not only prevents you from drowning in a sea of hopelessness and passionlessness by putting your life into perspective by interacting with others, but you will also be doing some good in the process. Also, it's amazing how purpose and passion creep up on you when you are helping the least of these. That's how I found my passion for victims of human trafficking, which is another blog for another time. Even if you don't find your passion in life through it, I would be hard pressed to think of a better use of your time. Third, and probably hardest, work on contentment. I know how frustrating it is to live life that lacks passion. It's even harder to be in that situation and be content about it. Being content does not mean that you have to stop looking for your passion and give up, nor does it give you permission to sit around and do nothing to change your situation. It means surrendering your situation to God and being able to say, "This is where I'm at right now, and although this is not where I want to be right now, I will be content with where God has placed me for as long as He wills, and I will use this time to glorify Him." This is not easy to say or do, and it doesn't just apply if your life is lacking passion. Being content is important in any situation you find yourself in. My prayer is that you can say with the apostle Paul: "For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:11.
friends who are searching for passion, my heart goes out to you. While I am sorrowful that you have been led to the desert for a period, I look forward with anticipation to the joy that awaits you when find your purpose and passion. It's not always going to be like this. Be brave. Be strong. Be blessed.
I'm not a doctor or a scientist or psychiatrist. I haven't studied this topic or done extensive research on it. But I've lived it, and I think there is a lot to gain from life experience, which is why I feel qualified to write about it. Take it for what it is: the musings of girl who has felt the ache of a passionless life, who found passion through God's leading and in God's timing, and now aches for others haven't reached that point yet. To begin: my story. It was the year I graduated with my first associate's degree. I was done with college, and I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do in life. All I knew was that I was not ready to settle down with a full-time job and I had no interest in pursuing the career that my degree was in. I explored one option and then another, all leading to dead ends and closed doors. By the middle of summer I was getting fed up. I am not a directionless person. I have always had a plan and gone for it gun-ho, so wandering aimlessly was extremely frustrating to me. This sounds odd now, but in order to force myself to make a decision about my future and take action I quit my job. It was a job that I had once loved but knew that I could never make a career out of it, and at the time it was just another area that lacked my passion or interest. Looking back I can't say if that was the wisest decision or not, but I know that God used it. But what that did immediately was leave me in a position where I was doing nothing. I was a directionless being with no job and no passion to find another one. This is the essence of a passionless life: You don't have interest in what you are doing currently, and you can't find that one thing that does interest or motivates you. So basically you're stuck with no idea how to get out. This is frustrating. You can't just snap your fingers and suddenly become passionate about something; that's not how it works. So how does one find passion and direction in life?
I'm not going to answer that, because I can't. It's different for everyone and I can't tell you steps A,B, and C that will help you find your purpose in life. I can't help you, but God can. Draw close to His heart and hear His heartbeat for you. Ask Him how you can live your life for His glory. I know this kind of sounds like an oxymoron, because more often than not, if you are lacking passion in life, your relationship with God is also lacking. If you had passion about seeking God than you would not be living a completely passionless life, yes? How can you hear God if you are so far away from God? How can you seek God when you have no desire to seek Him? Again, God can help you. Go to Him and be completely honest. I have told God, "I have no desire to seek You and become close to You right now. But I know that should, so You are going to have to help and bring me to Yourself." And He did, because God is faithful. He did it by bringing a very difficult and painful situation in my life, where He stripped everything else away until the only thing I could cling to was Him. But it worked, and my relationship with God became closer than ever before.
This leads me to the actual purpose of writing this blog. I can't tell you specifically how to find your passion, but I can share thoughts on how to survive the wanderings to get to that point. The most important part is to realize that God is using this season of your life, and that no matter how purposeless it feels, it does have a purpose. I admit that this purpose is hard to see, but you have to believe that God hasn't forgotten you, and that He is molding and shaping you through this dry period. Second, focus on others. There is no faster way to throw pity party for yourself than to continually focus on yourself and your problems and lack of passion. Serve others, serve in your church, help out at the local food kitchen, do something that helps someone else. This not only prevents you from drowning in a sea of hopelessness and passionlessness by putting your life into perspective by interacting with others, but you will also be doing some good in the process. Also, it's amazing how purpose and passion creep up on you when you are helping the least of these. That's how I found my passion for victims of human trafficking, which is another blog for another time. Even if you don't find your passion in life through it, I would be hard pressed to think of a better use of your time. Third, and probably hardest, work on contentment. I know how frustrating it is to live life that lacks passion. It's even harder to be in that situation and be content about it. Being content does not mean that you have to stop looking for your passion and give up, nor does it give you permission to sit around and do nothing to change your situation. It means surrendering your situation to God and being able to say, "This is where I'm at right now, and although this is not where I want to be right now, I will be content with where God has placed me for as long as He wills, and I will use this time to glorify Him." This is not easy to say or do, and it doesn't just apply if your life is lacking passion. Being content is important in any situation you find yourself in. My prayer is that you can say with the apostle Paul: "For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:11.
friends who are searching for passion, my heart goes out to you. While I am sorrowful that you have been led to the desert for a period, I look forward with anticipation to the joy that awaits you when find your purpose and passion. It's not always going to be like this. Be brave. Be strong. Be blessed.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Wow
For my blog this week, I would like you to watch this youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRl8Ew6p1xc
In this video, an eleven year old boy shows Christ through the Bible in four minutes. I couldn't come up with something to write about that would be a better use of your time than watching this, so I didn't try. I know that you will be blessed, as I am every time I watch it.
Be Blessed.
In this video, an eleven year old boy shows Christ through the Bible in four minutes. I couldn't come up with something to write about that would be a better use of your time than watching this, so I didn't try. I know that you will be blessed, as I am every time I watch it.
Be Blessed.
Friday, March 11, 2011
I Miss My Friends
Note: Thanks to your prayers and encouragement, my doctor's appointment went as well as could be expected last week. I wasn't exactly overjoyed, but I wasn't terrified, either. To God be the glory!
I've been sick for over a week now. It started out as a fever and lethargy, then other ailments started piling themselves on top. If you're going to have a party, you might as well invite everyone, right? That being said, I have tried to stay at home and get better as much as possible. Of course there were things that needed to get done, but much of my weekly schedule of activities was put on hold. I missed a couple of Bible studies, a Pampered Chef seminar, Ignite (college and career group) and church on Sunday, just to name the regular activities. And now, on the ninth day of my hermitage, I have come to this conclusion: I miss my friends.
I have spent most of my life spoiled with friendships. I am blessed in this area, and I thank God for it. But because of that, as with most things that I have an abundance of, I have the tendency to take it for granted. More often than not, it feels as it my friendships are wearing me down instead of building me up. This is due in part to the fact that I am an introvert at heart, and I rebuild my energy by being alone, not with a crowd. I also have a tendency to overbook my life, so I am always running from one thing to another and I never have a chance to recover. The other aspect of this is that relationships ARE hard work if you're serious about them, and they do take effort. But they are definitely worth it. None of this is a revelation to me because I've known it for a while, but what is new for me is the sadness I feel from being away from good Christian fellowship for only a week.
I miss the light-hearted banter and serious discussions at Ignite. I miss the close bond of relationship and sharing in the joys and sorrows of the other ladies' lives from my women's Bible study, which occasionally does get around to studying the Bible. I miss the wisdom shared by brothers and sisters in Christ who have been beaten by the storms of life and have survived to come out stronger at my small group from church. And maybe most of all, I miss going to church and worshipping as the body of Christ and learning the Word of God taught by seasoned stewards of it. I miss the encouragement. I miss the fellowship. I miss the people who bless me by helping me through life, and I miss being used by God to be a blessing to others.
I hope you realize this isn't a "woe is me" post. My purpose is to get you thinking about your own life and the activities in it, and to see the blessings you have. My other purpose is to help you see if you have an area that's lacking and that needs filled. If you are a Christian, Beloved, than you need godly fellowship on a regular basis. At least once a week, if not more. As you can see, I pretty much fill up my schedule with as much fellowship as I can cram in, but I realize that's not for everyone. And, by the way, just going to activities does not count as fellowship. You have to engage, and be honest and open with people. The most important thing, however, is to go with the mindset of serving others, not to get something out of it for yourself. If that is your attitude, than you will probably be disappointed. Go to church thinking, "how can I bless other through my words and actions?" Go to Bible study realizing that sharing your struggles might help someone else to have the courage to share theirs. I think the tragedy of my generation of Christians is that they 1) don't understand the importance of the body of Christ and 2) don't understand their place in it. I guess that's what I'm trying to get at in a round about way. Perhaps I will do a follow-up post with more details.
Right now I need to go and get a few more things done before tonight. There is a night of worship at my church, and I couldn't be more excited about going : )
I've been sick for over a week now. It started out as a fever and lethargy, then other ailments started piling themselves on top. If you're going to have a party, you might as well invite everyone, right? That being said, I have tried to stay at home and get better as much as possible. Of course there were things that needed to get done, but much of my weekly schedule of activities was put on hold. I missed a couple of Bible studies, a Pampered Chef seminar, Ignite (college and career group) and church on Sunday, just to name the regular activities. And now, on the ninth day of my hermitage, I have come to this conclusion: I miss my friends.
I have spent most of my life spoiled with friendships. I am blessed in this area, and I thank God for it. But because of that, as with most things that I have an abundance of, I have the tendency to take it for granted. More often than not, it feels as it my friendships are wearing me down instead of building me up. This is due in part to the fact that I am an introvert at heart, and I rebuild my energy by being alone, not with a crowd. I also have a tendency to overbook my life, so I am always running from one thing to another and I never have a chance to recover. The other aspect of this is that relationships ARE hard work if you're serious about them, and they do take effort. But they are definitely worth it. None of this is a revelation to me because I've known it for a while, but what is new for me is the sadness I feel from being away from good Christian fellowship for only a week.
I miss the light-hearted banter and serious discussions at Ignite. I miss the close bond of relationship and sharing in the joys and sorrows of the other ladies' lives from my women's Bible study, which occasionally does get around to studying the Bible. I miss the wisdom shared by brothers and sisters in Christ who have been beaten by the storms of life and have survived to come out stronger at my small group from church. And maybe most of all, I miss going to church and worshipping as the body of Christ and learning the Word of God taught by seasoned stewards of it. I miss the encouragement. I miss the fellowship. I miss the people who bless me by helping me through life, and I miss being used by God to be a blessing to others.
I hope you realize this isn't a "woe is me" post. My purpose is to get you thinking about your own life and the activities in it, and to see the blessings you have. My other purpose is to help you see if you have an area that's lacking and that needs filled. If you are a Christian, Beloved, than you need godly fellowship on a regular basis. At least once a week, if not more. As you can see, I pretty much fill up my schedule with as much fellowship as I can cram in, but I realize that's not for everyone. And, by the way, just going to activities does not count as fellowship. You have to engage, and be honest and open with people. The most important thing, however, is to go with the mindset of serving others, not to get something out of it for yourself. If that is your attitude, than you will probably be disappointed. Go to church thinking, "how can I bless other through my words and actions?" Go to Bible study realizing that sharing your struggles might help someone else to have the courage to share theirs. I think the tragedy of my generation of Christians is that they 1) don't understand the importance of the body of Christ and 2) don't understand their place in it. I guess that's what I'm trying to get at in a round about way. Perhaps I will do a follow-up post with more details.
Right now I need to go and get a few more things done before tonight. There is a night of worship at my church, and I couldn't be more excited about going : )
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